Iris
by birdee18
Summary: Bella is the new girl in Forks. Edward is the loner with the tragic past. Will they find happiness with each other, or will something bigger tear them apart? Will Bella get the happy ending she's dreaming of?
1. Chapter 1

**All righty, I hope the third time is a charm. I've begun posting this story twice before and pulled it both times because I wasn't feeling the love. Please let me know what you think of it and if I should continue. Thanks to my awesome beta and best friend BittenEV who worked on this for me a million years ago. I love you, bb!**

 **If you've read "What Happens Tomorrow," you know I like to use song titles as chapter titles. This chapter's song is "I'm Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage.**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to SM.**

 **Chapter 1—I'm Only Happy When It Rains**

"Are you ready for your first day?"

My father's voice brought me out of my reverie. "I'm sorry, Dad, what did you say?"

Charlie just chuckled. "I asked if you were ready for your first day of school. You seemed a million miles away."

I shook my head to clear it. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

"I think you'll like Forks High. It's small, and you'll do great. I think you'll like it a lot better than that huge school you went to in Phoenix."

I smiled for my father's benefit, but I was already convinced I'd hate Forks High. I couldn't find my niche back in Phoenix when I went to school with 3000 kids. How was I going to find it in a school with a student body of 300?

I had only been in Forks for two days, and I was already regretting my decision to move here. My mother had remarried and decided to do some traveling with her new husband, a minor league baseball player. Mom felt guilty about leaving me, so after much discussion I decided to move to the gloomy town of Forks, WA, to live with my dad. It just so happened that my dad, Charlie Swan, was the Forks chief of police and was very well known. I had a bad feeling that people were going to stare and point a lot.

I also missed the warmth of Phoenix. Forks was overcast most of the time, and I hated it. The gloomy weather usually affected my mood. I was just starting the second semester of my junior year, and I had no clue how I was going to survive a year and a half of this.

Charlie's voice once again broke into my thoughts. "Be sure to look for Alice Cullen at school. I know she'll be excited to see you."

"Who?" I asked, slightly confused.

"You remember Alice. She's Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's daughter," he explained. "You two used to play together when you were little. The Cullens are good friends. Carlisle and I go fishing and camping, and Esme takes pity on me and feeds me a few times a week. Alice is a good kid, and so is her brother Emmett. You'll like them a lot."

I just smiled and nodded. I really didn't remember Alice at all. Then again, I had blocked out most of my memories of visiting my father in Forks. I loved Charlie and loved spending time with him, but I hated being in Forks. For the last four years, our time together was spent vacationing somewhere warm and pleasant. As happy as I was to spend time with Charlie, I felt like I was being exiled to my own personal hell.

Charlie stood up from the kitchen table and brought his dishes to the sink. "Time for me to head out. I'll see you at the diner this evening."

"Really, Dad, I can cook for us," I insisted. "We don't have to go out."

"Nonsense, Bells. It's your first day of school here. We should celebrate." I rolled my eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by Charlie. "Bella, I know you're not happy about going to Forks High, but keep an open mind about it. I think you'll learn to like it if you give it a chance."

I suddenly felt awful. Charlie only wanted me to be happy, and I was sabotaging it. I didn't want him to think I felt that way about him. I really did love my dad.

"I'll try," I promised.

"That's my girl. Have a great day." Charlie lightly ruffled my hair before he left.

I left the house not long after Charlie. I wanted to allow myself enough time to check out the school before class began. I got into the red truck Charlie had bought for me. The truck was ancient, but I absolutely loved it. Charlie's friend Billy Black had sold it to him. Billy lived on the Quileute reservation at LaPush and was no longer able to drive. Despite the fact that the truck was so old, it ran pretty well thanks to Billy's son Jacob, who had totally rebuilt the engine.

It took me less than five minutes to get to school. It was still a little early, so I had no trouble finding a parking spot. I took a deep breath before I headed to the school office.

In the office I was greeted by a middle-aged woman with very red hair.

"Good morning, honey," she said cheerfully. "How can I help you?"

"I'm new here. I'm—

"You must be Isabella Swan," she said, cutting me off.

I just nodded and let the secretary, who I later learned was named Mrs. Cope, chatter on about the school and what I could expect. She gave me my schedule, a map of the school, and my locker assignment before wishing me good luck on my first day.

The first bell had rung, so I made my way to homeroom. I had my nose in my map and nearly knocked someone over as I rounded a corner.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry," I apologized.

The girl who I had nearly taken out just smiled and waved it off. "It's OK," she said. "No harm done."

This girl was tiny, barely five feet tall, and her long black hair was pulled up in a high ponytail. Her big blue eyes were lively, and they immediately widened in recognition.

"Bella? Bella Swan? Is that you?"

I just stood there for a moment trying to place who this girl was and how she knew me. I hadn't been to Forks in years. Then I remembered my conversation with Charlie at breakfast. "Alice Cullen?"

"Yes!" she squealed as she grabbed me in a huge hug. She was freakishly strong for such a small person. "It's been forever! I've been so excited to see you every since Charlie said you were moving here!"

I didn't like to draw attention to myself, so I was a little uncomfortable with Alice's display. No one really seemed to notice, though, which made me wonder if Alice was always this exuberant. I was pretty quiet and wasn't sure if I could handle a friend who was so outgoing.

"Let me see your schedule," Alice said. I handed it over, and she began to squeal again. "We have a couple of classes together, first period English and fourth period math. Yay!"

Before I knew it, Alice was dragging me off to our first class. I introduced myself to the teacher, and he gave me a class syllabus. When I went to take a seat, Alice waved and pointed to the seat next to her. I sat down, and she introduced me to the two girls sitting behind her.

"This is Bella Swan," she told them excitedly. "We used to play together when we were little. Bella, these are my friends Angela Weber and Nessie Wolf."

"Hi, Bella! Glad to meet you!" Nessie seemed as excitable as Alice, and I wondered if I could really handle two friends like that. She was also a rather small girl, and I wondered how these little people had so much energy. Nessie's auburn curls bounced excitedly as she spoke.

Thankfully Angela seemed quiet. She was definitely taller than the other two and had light brown hair and a warm smile. I liked her immediately.

Class began, so our conversation was cut short. The class seemed pretty easy, especially since I had already read several of the assigned novels. English was my favorite subject, so I was sure I'd enjoy it.

The morning flew by pretty quickly. Nessie and I had second period American history together. She chatted animatedly the whole way to class as everyone stopped to stare at me, the new girl. In a school as small as Forks High, anyone new stood out.

Alice insisted that I sit with her at lunch. She led me to a table that already had several people sitting there: Angela and her boyfriend Ben, Nessie, and a boy and girl I hadn't met yet.

"Bella, this is my brother Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie." Although Emmett appeared to be about a foot and a half taller, it was obvious he and Alice were brother and sister. He had curly black hair, big blue eyes like Alice, and a mischievous smile. He looked as if he was fun to be around.

Rosalie, however, seemed aloof and barely acknowledged me. I tried not to be judgmental, but her long blonde hair and supermodel looks screamed "bitch" to me.

We were soon joined by a tall, handsome blonde guy who reminded me of a surfer. Alice happily introduced him to me. "This is my boyfriend, Jasper Hale."

Jasper shook my hand and asked me how my first day was going. He and Rosalie were twins, which surprised me since he was so friendly. Everyone at our table but Rosalie was friendly, and I found myself falling into easy conversation with them.

All too soon lunch was over, and it was time for fifth period biology.

"My cousin Edward is in that class," Alice said as we got up from our table. "Maybe you'll get to meet him."

Emmett laughed. "I doubt it. Edward isn't exactly Mr. Personality these days."

Alice glared at her brother. "Em, he's our cousin. You could be a little nicer."

Emmett held up his hands defensively. "Hey, I love the guy like a brother, but you have to admit he hasn't been very social lately."

"Can you blame him?" Alice asked. "If you'd been through what Edward's been through, would you be Mr. Sunshine?"

I was intrigued about this cousin Edward and his issues, but it was class time. Angela and Ben had biology with me, so they walked me to class. I introduced myself to Mr. Banner, and, after giving me my textbook, he directed me to the only open seat in the classroom.

I sat at my lab table and found myself sitting next to the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. His untidy bronze hair was striking against his porcelain skin and emerald green eyes. Even though he was sitting, I could tell he was tall and lean but well built. I tried not to drool, and I hoped he couldn't hear me gasp at his beauty. He was just perfect. I was completely rendered speechless. How did I get so lucky to have this Greek god as a lab partner?

"Hi," I said shyly once I found my voice, not sure how to approach this Adonis but not wanting to seem unfriendly.

He responded by giving me a cold stare and turning away from me. I looked around to see if there was possibly something around me that could have affected him that way. Nope. Just me. I tried again.

"Hi, I'm Bella."

"I know who you are," he snapped.

I just sat there with my mouth open and wondered how he could be so rude. As Mr. Banner began lecturing, I noticed my partner scooting his stool further away from me. I could feel the blush creeping into my cheeks and tried not to cry. Tears were my usual response to anger, and I really didn't want this idiot to see my cry. I was livid. I hadn't done anything but say hello to this guy, yet he couldn't stand me for some reason. He was stiff and rigid throughout the whole lecture, and when the bell rang he practically ran out of the room. I just stood there in shock.

"Bella, are you OK?" Angela had walked up behind me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"I just can't believe how rude this guy was," I seethed.

"Edward Masen? Yeah, he's not always friendly," Angela replied.

"Edward? Alice's cousin Edward?" It all started to make sense to me.

Angela nodded. "He's had it rough lately, but it's no excuse to be rude."

"What's his problem?" I asked as we walked to our next class. "Why does he live with the Cullens?"

"His parents died, so he moved here to Forks," Angela explained. "I know it has to be hard on him, but he doesn't have to be so unfriendly. You've seen how great Alice and Emmett are. Alice is an amazing friend. You'd think some of it would rub off on Edward."

I wanted to talk to Angela some more, but we had reached out last class of the day—gym. In Phoenix I was only required to take two years of gym. Forks High, however, required four years. Between this and Edward Masen, I was sure someone was out to get me.

As I expected, gym was a disaster. I was forced to play volleyball even though I was sure I'd injure someone. Thankfully no one was seriously hurt, especially the poor guy who got hit in the head by my serve. The highlight of my day was when the coach sent us to the locker room to get dressed.

The final bell rang at 2:30, and I hightailed it out of the school as fast as I could. I didn't want to run into Alice or anyone else I had met today. I just wanted this day to be over. Unfortunately, I wasn't meeting Charlie at the diner until 5:00. I went home for a bit to do some homework, but I couldn't get my mind off of Edward Masen. I had no idea why he had gotten under my skin so badly.

I was relieved when it was finally time to meet Charlie. He was already at the diner when I arrived, but fortunately he hadn't been waiting long.

"So how was your day?" Charlie asked after we had ordered.

"Pretty good," I lied. "My classes seem easy, and I met a few people."

Charlie nodded. "Did you see Alice?"

"Yeah. I met her this morning. We have a couple of classes together, and I sat with her at lunch. I met Emmett and some of their friends." I paused for a moment. "I also met Edward."

"Nice kids, all of them," Charlie said.

"I don't know," I contradicted. "Edward wasn't very friendly."

"He really is a good kid," Charlie insisted. "He's just been through a lot, losing his parents and all. You'll like him once you get to know him."

I doubted that, but I didn't feel like arguing with my father.

Charlie continued. "Esme Cullen called today. She invited us to dinner tomorrow. You can hang out with Alice outside of school and perhaps see that Edward isn't so bad."

Great. My own father was taking up for Edward Masen. I could deal with Alice and her endless supply of energy, but her cousin was another story. Edward annoyed me, yet for some strange reason I couldn't get him out of my mind. He had been rude to me, though. I was nothing but nice, yet he chose to treat me terribly and ignore me. We'd have to work together as lab partners, but that didn't mean we'd have to be friends. I finally decided to make my life easy and just dislike him. I only hoped I could stick to that decision.


	2. Chapter 2--Hot and Cold

**Thank you for the positive reviews y'all left on Chapter 1! Here's Chapter 2. Please let me know if you're continuing to enjoy it. The song for this chapter is "Hot and Cold" by Katy Perry. Thanks also to my best friend and beta BittenEV for her help on this.**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to SM.**

 **Chapter 2—Hot and Cold**

I reluctantly got out of bed the next morning for my second day at Forks High. I could see the snow flurries outside my window, and I groaned. I missed the warmth of Phoenix and wondered if I'd ever see the sun again.

Charlie had left for work early, so I ate a quick breakfast alone once I was dressed. There was no sense in lingering around an empty house, so I headed off to school. I was glad to see that I wasn't too early.

"Bella!" I heard someone call as I got out of my truck. I looked up to see Alice standing next to a flashy yellow Mustang and waving wildly. I was definitely not a morning person, and I couldn't understand how Alice had so much energy so early. Part of me wanted to get back in my truck or just go off to find a quiet place, but I couldn't do that to Alice. She had been too nice to me, and there was no way I'd be rude to her.

"Hey, Alice," I said as I joined her next to her car.

Alice began assaulting me with questions. "How was your first day? Did everything go well? Do you like Forks High? Did you meet my cousin?"

"Whoa, Alice, slow down!" I laughed. "My first day was OK."

"Just OK?" Alice seemed outdone. "What about Edward? Did you meet him?"

I sighed in frustration because I really didn't want to say anything negative to Alice about her cousin. "I did. He's my lab partner."

Alice suddenly seemed angry. "I can't believe it! He did it again! Why does he always have to be such an ass?"

I laughed again. "It's OK, Alice. Yes, he was an ass. Yes, he made me angry. I'm just going to ignore him, though. I won't let him get to me."

"I'm sorry, Bella. He wasn't always like this," Alice apologized. "It all started when my aunt and uncle died."

"What happened?" I asked.

Alice began to explain, but she was cut off by the bell. "I'll tell you all about it this afternoon," she said as we headed to class. "I hear you and Charlie are coming for dinner this evening. Why don't you follow me home after school? We can do our homework and hang out."

"Sounds like a plan," I said as we got to class.

The morning went by quickly, and it was soon lunch time. Once again I joined Alice and her group in the cafeteria. Everyone talked and laughed, and I enjoyed myself. I truly felt like I could finally have some close friends.

All too soon, though, lunch ended and it was time for biology. Even though I had decided to ignore Edward Masen, I still got a knot in my stomach knowing he would be there. I was surprisingly disappointed, then, when I saw that Edward was absent.

I listened to Mr. Banner's lecture and took notes, but Edward's absence affected me. Where was he? Why hadn't Alice told me he was out? More importantly, why did I care? I didn't like Edward; I shouldn't have been worried where he was.

School finally ended, and I met Alice next to her car. "My house is pretty difficult to find. You'll need to follow me closely," she explained. Then she looked from her little sports car to my truck. "Try to keep up," she added with a wink.

I shook my head and laughed as I got in my truck to follow Alice. Thankfully, she didn't drive too fast and I was able to keep up with her. Alice was right about her house being difficult to find. I never would have found the turn off if I hadn't been following her. The drive was magnificent, though. The snow-covered trees looked like something from a postcard. They were gorgeous. I imagined it must be even more beautiful in the summer when everything was lush and green. It had to be fun for Alice and Emmett to grow up in such a great place. I felt like I'd been driving forever when I finally saw the huge white house.

Alice motioned for me to park in the driveway as the pulled into the massive garage. I got out of my truck and just stared at the huge house that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere.

"So this is home," Alice said as she joined me. "It's big, but it's comfortable."

"It's amazing," I breathed out as I followed her up the front steps and into the house.

"Mom, I'm home!" Alice called out.

"In the kitchen, sweetie," a woman's voice called out.

We went into the kitchen, where we were greeted by a small, pretty woman with long caramel-colored hair. She smiled and came over to use when she saw us.

Alice handled the introductions. "Bella, this is my mom, Esme Cullen. Mom, this is Bella Swan."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen," I said, extending my hand.

"Oh please, it's Esme," she said, pulling me into a hug. "It's been forever since I've seen you. You're all grown up," she added, releasing me.

"Thanks so much for taking care of Charlie. I don't know how he's survived so long on his own," I said.

"Charlie's like a member of the family. We love having him here," Esme assured me. "We're also thrilled to have you here."

I began to blush, which unfortunately happened a lot. I didn't like being the center of attention at all. Alice apparently noticed my discomfort and changed the subject. "How's Edward feeling?"

"He's feeling much better," Esme replied as she went back to cooking dinner. "His fever broke around noon, and he's been resting all day."

"Good. I got his assignments for him. I'll bring them up to him and then Bella and I can get started on our homework." Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the kitchen. I heard Esme laughing behind us.

"So, Edward is sick?" I asked casually as we made our way upstairs.

"Yeah. He woke up with a fever this morning. It was weird because he doesn't have a cold or anything," she explained. "Must be some sort of bug."

"Must be," I muttered as Alice stopped and knocked on a door.

"Come in," a male voice called out. Alice bounded into the room, but I just stood in the doorway.

Edward's room was immaculate. It was tastefully decorated in various shades of gold. One wall was covered with bookshelves that held a stereo along with tons of CDs and books. Edward was sitting in the middle of the bed propped up against a mountain of pillows and playing on his laptop.

"Hey, Mom said you were feeling better," Alice said as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"I am, but I felt like crap this morning," he replied. "It just came on all of a sudden."

"Well I'm glad you're better," Alice said as she pulled Edward's work out of her school bag.

Edward finally looked up and saw me standing in the doorway. "Hello, Bella," he said formally.

I couldn't find my voice to reply. I just stood there like a mute. I couldn't believe that Edward was being polite to me. I also couldn't believe that someone sick could possibly look that gorgeous. Even his bedhead looked amazing. I continued to just stand and stare. No wonder Edward had been so rude. He probably thought I was mentally challenged, although that was no reason to be rude.

Edward looked at me intently, and I couldn't tear my eyes away. Alice looked from me to Edward then back to me. She sensed the awkwardness and thankfully broke the tension. "Come on, Bella. Let's go to my room," she said, getting up and heading towards me. "See you later, Edward."

Alice dragged me to her bedroom, but my mind was elsewhere. Edward had actually been nice to me, and I had acted like an idiot. We quietly got out our books and started our homework until Alice, sensing something was on my mind, broke the silence.

"Edward grew up in Chicago," she began, "but he, Emmett, and I have always been extremely close. He would spend part of his summers with us in Forks, and Emmett and I would go to Chicago the rest of the time. We'd even sped holidays together. My mom and my aunt Elizabeth were sisters, and really close with one another. Last summer, Edward, Aunt Elizabeth, and Uncle Ed came out to visit. Edward was spending the whole month of June with us, but my aunt and uncle only stayed a week. They had been back in Chicago for only three days when we got the news. They were in an accident, hit head on by a drunk driver. They were killed instantly. Edward was just a mess. He was basically catatonic until we got to Chicago, and then at the funeral he just lost it." Alice paused for a moment, no doubt thinking of her cousin's pain. "Edward came back to Forks to live with us, but he hasn't been the same. He's just a shell of a person, not really living, just existing. That's no excuse for him to be rude to you or anyone, but that's just how he deals with things."

I sat for a minute and tried to process what Alice had just told me. I couldn't even imagine going through what Edward had been through, but Alice was right. It was no excuse to be rude.

"Has he talked to anyone about it?" I finally asked. "You know, a professional or something? This can't be healthy."

"He does see someone once a week," Alice admitted. "It's helped a little but he's still not the same Edward. I miss the old Edward. He never laughs or smiles anymore. I want my cousin back."

Alice looked so sad that I just had to lean over and hug her. She hugged me back tightly, and we just sat like that for a few minutes. When she sat up, she wiped a few tears away. "Thanks, Bella. I needed that."

I wanted to smile for making her feel better but decided against it. I didn't want Alice to think I found any pleasure in her pain. The truth was that I had never had a friend like Alice. I had only known her for two days, but I felt as if we'd been friends forever. Alice seemed to have that effect on people.

We got started on our homework and kept the conversation on lighter topics. When we were finished, we went downstairs to help Esme. Carlisle was home, and he greeted me as warmly as Esme had.

"It's so good to see you, Bella," Carlisle said. "Charlie's happy to have you here."

"I'm glad to be here," I replied, only lying a little bit. I really was happy to be living with Charlie. I just wasn't happy that it was in Forks.

Charlie arrived a short time later, and Esme called everyone to dinner. It was definitely a lively affair. Emmett and Alice somehow managed to eat while talking nonstop. Charlie and Carlisle discussed fishing while Esme just listened and joined in when she could. Edward and I were the only ones who didn't have anything to contribute. I was basically in my own little bubble, eating and tuning out the conversation around me.

"Edward, are you feeling poorly again? You've hardly touched your dinner." It was Esme's voice that brought me back. I looked up and noticed that Edward was just playing with his food. I wondered too if he was still sick. Why, though? Why did I care?

"I'm really not very hungry. May I be excused?" Edward ran his hands through his hair as if he was frustrated.

"Of course, dear. I'll be up in a bit to check on you," Esme told him. Edward nodded and swiftly left the table. Esme looked concerned and leaned in to Carlisle to whisper to him. "Carlisle, I'm worried about him."

"He'll be fine. I'm sure it's just a bug or something," Carlisle assured her.

"It's more than that," Esme insisted. "I feel like I'm not doing enough to help him through everything."

Carlisle reached over and squeezed Esme's hand. "You are. I promise you are." He obviously sensed that I had heard his and Esme's conversation because he turned to me. "So, Bella, how are you enjoying Forks High so far?"

It was a simple question, but I knew I was turning 20 shades of red. I hated to have the attention turned on me, but I'd never be rude to Carlisle or anyone else. "It's good so far. I've met some great people thanks to Alice."

Alice perked up and gave me a big smile. "Awww, thanks! It's great having you here."

The rest of the meal went by quickly as we all engaged in small talk. I began to feel more comfortable and joined in the conversation. I tried to help Esme clean up after dinner, but she shooed me away. Alice, Emmett, and I went into the den to play video games. It was hysterical watching the two of them. You'd have sworn they were in the Super Bowl. They were so intense and totally into the game.

Charlie came in about an hour later. "Bells, I'm heading out. I'll see you at home."

"OK. I'll be right behind you."

"You don't have to leave if you're not ready. You can stay if you'd like," Charlie said with a smile. "Don't rush home on my account."

"No, it's getting late. I don't want to overstay my welcome." I really was having a good time, but it was getting late. I wanted to shower and get to bed before it got too late.

I turned to Alice and Emmett. "Thanks so much for a fun evening. I had a great time hanging out."

Emmett grabbed me in a huge bear hug. "Anytime, Bellaboo! Don't be a stranger!"

I managed to get free from Emmett's grasp only to have Alice squeeze me like a boa constrictor. "Oh Bella, I'm so glad you came. Please tell me you'll be back soon."

"Of course I will," I assured her. "I never really had close friends in Phoenix, so this was really fun."

Alice's eyes got wide. "Really? How could you not have close friends?"

"If you haven't noticed, I'm pretty shy. I just never fit in with anyone back home," I explained.

Alice grabbed me in another bone-crushing hug. "Then I'm honored that you've allowed me to be your friend. I know I'm hyper sometimes, but I can't help it. I'm just glad you don't mind."

I laughed and hugged her back before heading to the kitchen to say good night to Carlisle and Esme. They both hugged me as well.

"I'm so glad you joined us this evening," Esme said warmly. "You are welcome anytime, and I hope we'll be seeing a lot more of you."

"Thanks, Esme. You definitely will," I replied honestly.

I managed to find my way down the Cullens' long driveway and get back to the highway. From there it didn't take long to get home. Charlie was already settled in front of the TV watching a basketball game when I walked in.

"Hey, Bells," he said. "Did you have a nice time with the Cullens?"

"I really did. I had fun hanging out with Alice and Emmett. They're great." I smiled at the idea of finally having some close friends.

Charlie smiled as well. "They are great. I'm glad you like them. I know you're pretty quiet like your old man here, and I was worried about you being alone too much."

I was surprised. Charlie was a man of few words and didn't express his feelings much. I was touched that he worried about me in that way.

"I hope you don't mind me hanging out with Alice after school. I promise I'll get my chores done and dinner ready—"

Charlie cut me off. "Bella, you're not here to be the maid or to take care of me. I want you to have fun. Don't worry. I've been taking care of myself for a while now."

"That doesn't mean I don't worry about you," I insisted. "Besides, I'm used to taking care of Mom."

Charlie smiled. "Your mom is a great person, but we both know she's a little flighty. I'm a big boy. I can handle it."

"Thanks, Dad," I said. "Well, I'm going to head upstairs for the night."

"Sleep tight," Charlie called out.

School the next day was even better. I still hadn't come out of my shell completely, but I felt comfortable at Forks High. Everyone seemed to accept me for who I was.

I headed to biology after lunch and stopped dead in my tracks when I reached the classroom. Edward Masen was back, and I immediately found myself becoming frustrated. I was in a good mood, and I knew any interaction with Edward would ruin it. Then I wondered yet again why on earth I was letting Edward get to me like this. Sure, he was the most beautiful male specimen I had ever seen, but he was still a jerk. I walked to my lab table, grabbed my notebook out of my bag, and let my hair fall in my face as a shield from Edward.

"Bella," a velvety voice said, and I knew it was Edward. I ignored him and continued to flip through my notebook. "Bella," he said again. I continued to ignore him. He sighed. "I guess I deserve it for the way I've treated you. I'm sorry, Bella. I know I've been an ass. Maybe it's just better this way."

His comment caught me off guard and I spun to face him. "Better this way? Being an ass is OK?"

Edward sighed again. "That's not what I meant. I meant that it's probably for the best if you continue to ignore me. I'm not really a very good friend."

"So I've noticed," I retorted.

Edward looked as though he wanted to say something else, but Mr. Banner began class. I was grateful because I really didn't feel like talking to Edward. We were both quiet as we took notes and did our classwork. When the bell rang, I didn't even look at him. I joined Angela, and we walked to gym together.

I was getting in my truck at the end of the day when I heard Edward calling my name. I was tempted to just get in and drive off, but for some reason I decided to hear him out so he would stop annoying me.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked as he jogged over to my truck. "You tell me it's best to ignore you, but you won't leave me alone. I wish _you'd_ just ignore _me_."

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Bella, I'm really sorry about the way I've treated you. I said I wouldn't be a very good friend. That doesn't mean I don't want to be friends."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

Edward sighed again. "It means I don't know if I'd be a very good friend, but I could try. Alice and Emmett love you already."

"That's because they don't go hot and cold like you do." At this point I considered running over Edward with my truck.

"I know, and you're right," he replied, looking at the ground.

"I'll think about it." I started my truck to let him know the conversation was over.

Edward took the hint. "Sounds fair. I'll see you tomorrow."

As I drove out of the parking lot, I replayed the conversation in my head. Could I actually handle being friends with Edward? Could I handle his mood swings? I found myself more confused than ever by the enigma that was Edward Masen.


	3. Chapter 3--Earth to Bella

**Thank you for the positive response to Iris! I will definitely be continuing with it! I'm glad you like it so far. The song for this chapter is "Earth to Bella" by Incubus. Thanks a million to my beta and best friend BittenEV! She rocks!**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to SM.**

 **Chapter 3—Earth to Bella**

I needed to forget about my conversation with Edward, and I figured the best way to do so would be to cook. Chicken enchiladas were one of my favorite things to make, and I was fairly certain that Charlie hadn't eaten real Mexican food in ages.

After a quick stop at the grocery to pick up the ingredients, I headed home and began cooking. I lost myself in chopping and dicing. Once everything was on the stove to simmer, I got started on my homework. I became so engrossed in what I was doing that the ringing of my cell phone startled me. A quick look at my screen told me it was Alice. "Hello."

"Hey, Bella! Whatcha doing?" Even on the phone Alice was way too perky.

I chuckled at my friend's enthusiasm. "Just doing my homework and cooking dinner. What's up?"

"Well, I was on my way to cheerleading practice today when I thought I saw Edward talking to you by your truck. Care to confirm or deny?"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes even though Alice couldn't see me. "Yes, Alice, that's what you saw."

"What did he want?" she asked impatiently.

I sighed in frustration. I really didn't want to talk about it, but I knew Alice wouldn't give up. "He said he wanted to be friends."

"That's a good thing! Why do you sound so glum about it?" Alice was getting way too excited.

"Because I need to know that if he's going to be nice one day he'll be nice again the next!" I felt bad about taking my frustrations out on Alice, but the subject of Edward had that effect on me.

Thankfully, Alice didn't take offense at my tone. "I don't think he'll be that way. He must really want to be friends if he made the effort to find you and talk to you. That's uncharacteristic of Edward. He's usually much more reserved."

"If he wants to be my friend, he needs to prove that he's capable of being one," I said with finality.

"Sounds fair." Alice echoed Edward's words from earlier. "OK, on a different subject, we're having a sleepover Friday night."

"Why do I have a feeling that my idea of a sleepover is a lot different from yours?" I had only known Alice a short time, but I had a bad feeling that I was going to be assaulted with a makeover. She was a typical girly girl, while I preferred comfort over style.

"Oh Bella, don't be a party pooper!" Alice whined. "We can give each other facials and manis and pedis. I'll get Rosalie to come too. It'll be fun."

I bit my lip, again realizing Alice couldn't see me. "I don't think Rosalie likes me."

"Rosalie likes you. She just doesn't always show it," insisted Alice. "Rosalie isn't the most outgoing person, and it takes her a while to warm up to people. She's not like Edward, though. She's fiercely loyal to her friends. Besides, if she didn't like you, you'd know. I promise you that."

"OK, Alice, whatever." I knew there was no way I'd win this argument, so I didn't even try to argue.

Alice was pleased. "Good. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"All right. See you then." I ended my call with Alice and got back to cooking and homework.

Charlie was pleasantly surprised when he came home to find real Mexican food. We had a pleasant dinner, and I even joined him in front of the flat screen for a while to watch a basketball game. We had a great evening, and I slept well.

Alice was all abuzz the next morning about our impending sleepover. If she was this excited now, I was afraid to see what she was going to be like by Friday night. I just shook my head and chuckled. I really was looking forward to spending time with my friend, but I was afraid of the girly torture she was most likely going to put me through.

I headed to biology with butterflies in my stomach. I was anxious to see which Edward was going to be in class today. Apparently it was Friendly Edward because he smiled when I sat down.

"Good afternoon, Bella," he said. "How are you today?"

"Fine, thanks," I said warily. I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Glad to hear that. So, I hear Alice is having a sleepover tomorrow night." His smile was a dazzling white and almost made me melt. Almost.

"Yeah. I'm worried about that." Crap. I couldn't believe I had admitted that.

"What are you worried about?"

Double crap. He wasn't going to let it go.

I hesitated. I really didn't want to confess my insecurities to Edward Masen. I just had a feeling that he wasn't going to let me off the hook. He was being way too outgoing today.

"I've never really done the whole girly sleepover thing," I finally admitted.

"Really?" Edward was genuinely surprised.

I didn't respond. I looked down and let my hair fall around my face. Edward was being friendly enough, but I didn't know if it would last.

"I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, Bella," Edward said. "I meant what I said about wanting to be friends. I'm just not very good at it."

Thankfully I was saved from responding by Mr. Banner beginning class. Edward and I exchanged glances, but we didn't speak again for the rest of the period.

I managed to survive gym and head home for the evening. Alice called after dinner to finalize our sleepover plans. She promised to keep the girly stuff to a minimum so I wouldn't be too uncomfortable. I was excited about the sleepover as long as Alice didn't try to make me over.

As expected, Alice was very excited the next day. I could only laugh because I knew there was no calming her. In fact, our whole group was rather animated. We were all so busy talking and laughing at lunch that Angela, Ben, and I made it to biology just as the tardy bell rang. As a result, I didn't get to talk to Edward before class began. He gave me a small smile as Mr. Banner began class.

Any good mood I was in vanished as soon as Mr. Banner started the lesson. He announced that we were going to be blood typing. I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The smell and sight of blood made me sick. I knew this class wouldn't end well.

Edward noticed my apprehension, and he probably saw the color drain from my face and the sweat form on my brow. "Bella, are you OK?"

I couldn't say anything, so I just nodded. Edward was watching me out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't say anything.

Then it happened. Mr. Banner demonstrated what we were to do by pricking Mike Newton's fingertip and squeezing it so the blood would flow. I put my head down on the cool lab table, hoping to keep the nausea at bay, but it wasn't working.

"Bella? What's wrong? Bella?" Edward seemed genuinely concerned. At least I think he did. The room was spinning, and I wasn't sure I was hearing correctly.

"The blood. The smell." I couldn't lift my head.

"Mr. Banner? I don't think Bella is feeling very well," Edward announced to everyone. Great.

"Oh no," Mr. Banner replied. "Edward, would you mind taking her to the nurse's office? Perhaps she just needs to lie down for a few minutes."

I groaned. Not only did the whole class know that I was going to be sick, but Edward was going to be the one to take care of me. I prayed that a giant hole would open in the ground and swallow me. I knew that was highly unlikely, so I stood up and let Edward steady me. He grabbed my bag and led me out of the classroom.

Neither of us said anything until we were outside. I sat down on the nearest bench and breathed deeply. "I just need some fresh air. Give me a minute."

Edward sat next to me. "You're looking a little green," he observed.

"Gee, thanks," I spat, but I was sure I was really too green to sound angry.

"Just stating the obvious," he said with a smirk.

"OK. I'm good to go." As I stood up, though, I felt dizzy and nearly fell. Edward caught me before I did, scooped me up in his arms bridal style, and headed towards the office. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Carrying you to the office. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Put me down!" I said as forcefully as I could while beating him with my fists. Unfortunately I was too dizzy to really make my point.

Apparently Edward got my message because he put me down. Actually, he pretty much dropped me. "Fine. You don't want my help. Take care of yourself then." He threw my bag to the ground, turned on his heel, and walked back to class.

I sat on the ground for a minute trying to get my bearings and process what had just happened. I could have been more polite in my request to Edward to put me down, but he didn't have to drop me. Asshole. I managed to stand up and somehow make my way to the office.

"Bella? Are you all right?" Mrs. Cope asked as I walked into the office.

"No. Blood typing in biology." I laid my head on the counter.

Mrs. Cope walked around the counter to me and helped me to the nurse's office. As I plopped in a chair, Mrs. Cope explained to the nurse what was going on. The nurse ran to get a cool compress for my forehead. I leaned back and closed my eyes.

"What class do you have next?" Mrs. Cope asked me.

"Gym. Crap."

Mrs. Cope laughed. "Don't worry, honey. You can stay in here. I'll let Coach Hebert know where you are."

"Thanks," I managed to say.

Surprisingly the last hour of school flew by and the day was over. I was feeling much better, but Mrs. Cope wasn't convinced I should drive home.

"I don't know, Bella. Perhaps I should call Charlie," she said worriedly.

"Please don't," I practically begged her. "I promise I'm OK. I don't have far to go." I knew Charlie would freak out, even if it was just on the inside, if the school called and said I was sick.

Mrs. Cope relented. "Oh all right. Just please be careful."

"I will," I promised her. "And thanks."

As I made my way to my truck, I heard Alice calling my name and saw her running towards me. "Bella! Angela told me what happened in biology. Are you OK? Can you still come over tonight?"

"Yes, Alice, I'm fine and I'm still coming over," I assured her.

Alice smiled knowingly. "So, I heard Edward was the one to take you to the nurse."

I bit my lower lip. "Well, sort of."

"What do you mean 'sort of'?" she demanded.

I hesitated, but Alice gave me a look that said she wasn't going to back down. She stood there with her hand on her hip looking positively scary. I bit my lip again.

"What happened, Bella?" she asked. "Don't tell me it was nothing. You'd better spill."

I figured I might as well tell Alice what went on. "Fine. Edward was walking me to the office when I got dizzy. He picked me up and carried me."

"What's wrong with that?" She sounded confused.

I went on. "I didn't want him to, so I fought him. Then he dropped me and went back to class."

Alice unsuccessfully stifled a laugh. "Are you serious? He actually dropped you?"

Now it was my turn to glare at her. "It's not funny. He could have just put me down and continued to walk me to the office. He didn't have to drop me. Yesterday he tells me he wants to be friends, and today he drops me. What's his problem?"

Alice was still laughing. "I'm sorry, Bella, but it is funny. I don't think Edward's shown this much personality in months."

I became exasperated and got in my truck. "Whatever, Alice. I'll see you tonight." Alice was still laughing but waved as I drove off. I really wasn't mad at her, though. It was impossible to be mad at Alice.

I got home and did a couple of loads of laundry to pass time until I left for Alice's. Charlie was stopping at the diner for dinner and would be going to LaPush to go fishing with Billy tomorrow, so I didn't have to worry about him. I packed my bag and headed over to the Cullens about 6:00.

Alice basically pounced on me as soon as I walked in the door. "Bella!"

"Alice, you just saw me three hours ago." I laughed as I hugged her back.

"I know, but I'm so excited you're here!" She dragged me through the house toward the stairs.

"Hi, Bella!" Esme called out as we passed the kitchen. Alice stopped and then pulled me into the kitchen.

Alice let me go long enough to hug her mother. "It's good to see you, Esme," I told her. "I hope you can protect me from your crazy daughter."

"Sorry, but I can't help you with that," Esme replied with a smile. "Carlisle and I are meeting some friends for dinner in Port Angeles. You're on your own tonight."

"Too bad, Bella! You're stuck with me!" Alice trilled as she dragged me out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and into her room.

I rubbed my arm and shook my head. "Alice, for a little person you're freakishly strong." We both flopped on the bed, and that was when I realized I had left my phone in my truck. "My phone's in my truck. I need to get it in case Charlie or Renee calls. I'll be right back."

I quickly ran down and got my phone. As I was heading back upstairs, I ran into someone. I looked up to see Edward falling on his rear end.

"Fuck!" he yelled as he put his hands back to try and break his fall. "Would you watch where the hell you're going!'

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I stammered as my face turned a hundred shades of red.

"You need to be more fucking careful!" Edward got up and examined himself. "Fucking awesome. Look at this!" He held out his right arm, where a bruise was already forming.

Thankfully I was saved when Esme appeared at the top of the stairs. "Edward! Watch your language!"

"She knocked me down!" he replied, seemingly amazed that his aunt had corrected him.

"I'm sure it was an accident, so there's no reason to carry on like that," Esme chided. Edward pushed his way past me and continued down the stairs. "Bella honey, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I choked out as I made my way upstairs, trying not to cry.

Esme stopped me when I reached the top of the stairs. "I'm sorry. He wasn't always like this. It's no excuse, but I don't think he means it."

I just nodded, not trusting my voice. Esme squeezed my arm, and I went back to Alice's room.

"What happened?" Alice demanded as soon as I opened the door.

I couldn't talk. I sat on the edge of the bed as the tears finally fell.

Alice was furious. "What did he do to you?"

"It was my fault," I told her. "I was coming up the stairs, and I wasn't watching where I was going. I knocked him down. I didn't do it on purpose. I'm just so damn clumsy."

"It is not your fault! It was an accident. They happen." Alice sat next to me and put her arm around me. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah. No physical injury. I only hurt what little pride I had left." I leaned into Alice and put my head on her shoulder.

"Hola, bitches!" Rosalie entered the room but stopped short when she saw Alice and me. "What's wrong?"

Alice sighed in frustration. "Edward."

Rosalie sat on the other side of me. "What did he do now?"

Thankfully Alice answered for me. "He and Bella had a little collision on the stairs and he yelled at her like she did it on purpose!"

"He what?" Rosalie stood up with her hands on her hips. "I know he's all emo and shit, but that's ridiculous. What's his problem lately? Do I need to kick his ass?"

"Can we please just drop it?" I pleaded. "I want to forget about him and have fun tonight."

Rosalie sat down again. "Bella, I know I'm not as crazy and outgoing as Miss Alice Sunshine here, but I like you. You fit in well with our group. I don't warm up easily to new people because I've been burned before by fake friends, but I can tell that you're not like that. Edward's been through some heavy shit, but he doesn't have to be mean. You know, I think he likes you. He likes you, but he doesn't know how to approach you like a human being because he's got his head up his ass."

"That's it! That's got to be it!" Alice squealed, causing me to jump. "He's known Rose and Jasper for years, so he's nice to them. But now you've come along and he has no clue what to do."

I looked at them warily. "I think you're both crazy."

Alice wouldn't give up on her theory. "Seriously. Edward's been depressed and has kept to himself since his parents died. Now you're here, and his world just got shaken up again. He wants to like you, but he's too sad to let you in."

"Whatever, Alice," I said in frustration. "Now can we have some fun?"

We did end up having fun. The girls gave me a manicure and pedicure, but thankfully I wasn't subjected to an extreme makeover. We also ate popcorn and laughed as we watched chick flicks. I was truly enjoying myself.

About midnight we went downstairs to put our popcorn bowls in the dishwasher. When we got to the kitchen, we ran into Edward drinking a bottle of water. I hung back, but Rosalie wasn't shy about speaking her mind.

"So, Edward," she began, pointing a perfectly manicured fingernail at him, "what's your problem with our Bella?" Apparently Rosalie didn't believe in beating around the bush.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Edward replied innocently.

"Oh I think you do," Rosalie insisted. "Why on earth would Bella deliberately knock you down on the stairs?"

Then Alice chimed in. "And what's this I hear about you dropping her at school today when you were supposed to be bringing her to the nurse's office?"

I felt myself turning beet red as Edward stood with his mouth open.

"You did what?" Rosalie practically shouted. "How could you?"

Edward found his voice. "She didn't want my help. I wasn't going to force her into something she didn't want."

Rosalie was livid. "So you just dropped her? You couldn't have just put her down? That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard."

"I—I wasn't thinking," Edward replied nervously.

Then Alice spoke up. "No. You weren't thinking. I don't know what your problem is, Edward, but you need to get over it. Bella's my friend. She's not going anywhere."

Edward's response was to storm past us out of the kitchen.

Alice turned to me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I wish I knew what was going on with him."

I sighed. "Don't worry. I'm just going to ignore him. I don't need his drama."

Alice and Rosalie seemed satisfied with my response. We went back up to Alice's room to make plans for a shopping trip in the morning. Alice and Rosalie seemed like world-class shoppers, which frightened me. I hated shopping and avoided it at all costs.

Esme got up early the next morning to cook breakfast for all of us. Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, and I were enjoying our pancakes when Carlisle came in with a worried look on his face.

"What's wrong, dear?" Esme asked him.

Carlisle frowned. "Edward's sick again. He's running a fever of 102 along with chills, and his whole body hurts. His ears and throat are clear. I don't know where this is coming from."

"What are you going to do?" asked Esme worriedly.

"I want him to see Dr. Hunter on Monday. She's an infectious disease specialist," Carlisle explained. "I'm hoping she can come up with something. I have no idea what's making Edward so sick."

Breakfast was soon finished, and the girls and I went to get ready for our shopping trip. On our way out, Alice stopped in Edward's room to check on him. Rosalie and I waited in the hall.

Alice came out a few minutes later. "Bella, Edward wants to talk to you for a minute."

Rosalie looked at me questioningly, but I just shrugged my shoulders as I went into Edward's room.

I had to go up next to Edward's bed to see him because he had the covers pulled up to his chin. He was as white as a ghost except for the dark circles under his eyes. He looked awful. I wasn't going to let that cloud my judgment, though.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked him, not bothering to hide my irritation.

Edward didn't seem surprised by my tone. "I really need to apologize, Bella. I thought long and hard about what Alice said last night, and she's right. I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you, and I promise to be kinder. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I do have a nice side. I just hope you'll let me show it to you."

Despite his sickly appearance, I saw nothing but sincerity in Edward's eyes. I could tell he finally meant what he said. Could I give him a chance, though? Could I allow myself to become friends with Edward? Only time would tell.


	4. Chapter 4--Closer

**Thank you all for continuing to like my little story! I truly appreciate your reviews and feedback. I think you'll like this chapter. Thanks as well to my beta BittenEV who makes me look good.**

 **The song for this chapter is "Closer" by Tegan and Sara.**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to SM.**

 **Chapter 4—Closer**

The week had flown by, and now it was Friday. The whole school was abuzz with excitement. Tonight was a big basketball game against our archrivals, LaPush High. The winner would take the division title.

It had been a good week for me. Edward was true to his word about being kinder. We talked every day now in biology, and he made an effort to be more outgoing when I visited the Cullen house. Part of me believed Edward had really changed, but there was still that nagging little part of me that worried he'd go back to his old ways. I tried to ignore that second part, though, because Friendly Edward was a really great guy.

Thankfully, Edward was feeling much better. After his illness last weekend, Carlisle and Esme had kept him home from school on Monday for a doctor's appointment. Because of HIPPA laws and privacy requirements, Carlisle sent Edward to Dr. Hunter, a trusted colleague. She examined Edward and ran several blood tests, but everything came back normal. No one seemed to worry since Edward was now feeling fine.

Alice and I joined our group in the cafeteria for lunch when Nessie came to our table. She was so happy that she was practically vibrating.

"Geez, Ness, calm down! You look like the Energizer bunny on crack!" Emmett teased.

"I can't help it! I'm excited about the game tonight!" Nessie replied.

Emmett smiled knowingly. "This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain basketball player from LaPush, would it?"

Nessie's mouth was agape, and her hands went to her hips. "Emmett! You suck!"

Everyone laughed, but I was confused. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Our little Nessie has a huge crush on Jacob Black, the starting center for LaPush," Emmett explained. "Instead of acting on it, though, she just drools over him from afar."

"I do not drool over Jacob!" Nessie exclaimed exasperatedly. Everyone at the table gave her a pointed look. "OK, maybe I do. Ugh!" She collapsed in a chair and buried her face in her hands.

I laughed a little then smiled. "Hey Ness, I happen to know Jacob Black."

Nessie sat up straight, and her eyes were wide. "What?! You know him? How?"

"Jacob's dad and my dad are best friends," I told her. "Jake and I were playmates when we were little. I'd be happy to put in a good word for you."

Nessie launched herself at me and grabbed me in a huge hug. "Thank you so much, Bella! I'll name my first born after you if this works out."

We all laughed until Emmett noticed something and raised a finger. Everyone looked in the direction he was pointing. Edward had entered the cafeteria and was heading in our direction. Alice had told me that Edward spent lunch in the library, so I was just as surprised as everyone else to see him.

"Hey, everybody," Edward said as he sat in the chair next to me.

Alice reached across me and felt Edward's forehead. "Nope. No fever."

Edward gently pushed her hand away. "Can't I just enjoy lunch with my cousins and my friends?"

"You never 'enjoy lunch' with us," Emmett said, making air quotes. "I mean, I'm glad you're here, but why the sudden change?"

Edward shrugged. "I guess it's finally time to get my head out of my ass and join the living."

"Hallelujah!" Alice exclaimed, drawing the attention of other students. "What? I'm glad you got your head out of your ass."

Edward laughed. "I know. I'm sorry I've acted like a jerk. I really am trying to be a better person, and I hope you can forgive me."

"Damn, the shrink must have put you on the really happy pills," Emmett exclaimed. We all looked at him, and Rose smacked his arm.

Then we looked at Edward, waiting to see how he would react. To my surprise and probably everyone else's, he laughed again. "No, Em, he didn't fool with my happy pills. I meant what I said about becoming a better person."

"Well I'm happy and it has nothing to do with pills," Alice said. "You've had me worried all these months. Don't ever do that to me again!"

"I won't, Ali," Edward promised.

Once the initial shock of Edward joining us had worn off, we fell back into our usual small talk. Nessie was still excited about the prospect of meeting Jacob, and Emmett was still teasing her. It was pretty funny.

All too soon, though, the bell rang. Edward gently touched my arm as we stood up and gathered our things. "Bella, may I walk you to class?"

I smiled at him. "Sure. We're going to the same class."

Alice winked and gave me a thumbs up when she heard my response to Edward. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her.

"So, Bella," Edward began as we made our way to biology. "Are you going to the game tonight?"

"Yeah. I'm having a sleepover with Alice tonight. I'm meeting her at your house and riding over with her," I explained. "What about you?"

"I'll probably be there. I want to support Emmett," he replied. "It all depends on how I'm feeling."

"I thought you were feeling better," I said, surprised.

Edward gave me a small smile. "I am, but I'm always tired. I don't know if it's from being sick or a side effect of my anti-depressants."

I looked at Edward in surprise at his casual mention of his meds. He didn't seem shocked by my reaction.

"I know, you can't believe I'm talking about the happy pills," he began. "It's OK. Right now they're just a part of my life. I'd be an even bigger asshole if I wasn't medicated. Besides, you don't seem like the type to judge me for taking pills to cope."

I took Edward's hand and squeezed it gently. "I'd never judge you for that. It takes a big man to admit that he needs help."

"Thanks, Bella. It means a lot to me to hear you say that." Edward was smiling widely, but I also swore I saw his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He also gave my hand a small squeeze.

Unfortunately, we had reached our class. I wanted to keep talking, but our time had run out. Edward gallantly pulled out my stool for me, and we settled in for an hour of biology.

The rest of my day flew by, and at 5:30 I was pulling up in front of the Cullen home. This time, Alice assaulted me as I was getting out of my truck.

"Bella! You're here!" she squealed.

"Really, Ali? Did you miss me that much?" I tried to grab my overnight bag, but Alice's python-like grip was making it difficult. "Alice! Can't breathe!"

Alice let go long enough for me to grab my things and then dragged me into the house. She was already in her cheerleading uniform, her long black hair French braided. "Just leave your bag in the foyer for now," she said. "Cheerleaders have to be at school by six. Let's boogie!"

I laughed at my friend. "Ali, with the way you drive, we'll make it with plenty of time to spare." Alice wasn't an unsafe driver, but she did have a lead foot. Esme and Carlisle were constantly warning her about it.

Thankfully, Alice had "oh shit" handles in her Mustang, and I held on tight as we made it to Forks High in record time. Alice ran off to join the rest of the cheerleaders in the gym. I was heading to the student section when I heard someone call my name.

I looked up and saw a tall boy with russet skin and black hair pulled into a ponytail jogging towards me. "Jacob?"

"Bells! It's so good to see you!" Jacob grabbed me in a huge bear hug before picking me up and spinning me around.

I was a little dizzy, but I managed to return Jacob's hug. "It's good to see you too, Jake. I'm surprised we haven't run into each other before now."

"I've been keeping busy and all that," he explained. "I'm trying to keep my grades up so I can get a scholarship."

"You'll be great," I assured him. "I have all the faith in the world in you."

Both Jacob and I happened to look up and see the Forks High cheerleaders pointing in our direction. Alice was giggling, but Nessie was turning fifty shades of red.

"Uh, Bella, do you know that red-haired cheerleader? Nessie Wolfe?" Jacob asked.

Now it was my turn to giggle. "Yep. She's a friend. Very sweet girl."

Jacob seemed nervous. "Ummmm, do you think you could put in a good word for me? She's pretty cute, and I'd like to get to know her."

I smiled knowingly. "I don't think that'll be a problem. I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual."

"Really?" Jacob visibly relaxed.

I nodded. "She'd love it if you talked to her."

"Great! I'll have to chat her up after the game." One of Jacob's teammates called to him. "Crap. Gotta go, Bells. I'll talk to you soon."

"Have a great game!" I called out as Jacob joined his team.

I found a seat in the student section as the gym began to fill up. The Forks-LaPush rivalry was a big one, and the gym was going to be packed tonight. Angela joined me a short time later. She was wearing a shirt with Ben's number on it and had a sign she had made to show her support for her man. Esme and Carlisle waved to me when they arrived. I had to laugh at Esme's ensemble. She was wearing a shirt that said "Emmett's Mom" along with a huge button that had Alice's cheerleading picture on it. Only Esme could pull off such a look and make it glamorous.

It was just before tip-off when I felt someone squeeze in next to me. I looked up and saw Edward. "Is this seat taken?" he asked with a smile.

I smiled back. "Of course not. Is everything OK? You're a little late."

Edward shrugged. "Yeah, I'm good. I fell asleep when I got home, though, and slept a little longer than I had planned."

As he spoke, I noticed the dark circles under Edward's eyes. I reached out and began to trace them with my index finger. Edward closed his eyes and sighed contentedly.

The roar of the crowd brought us back to reality.

"I-I'm so sorry," I stammered, mortified at what I had done. "I didn't mean to touch you like that."

"It's all good," Edward assured me. "Besides, I liked it."

I was grinning like an idiot and didn't know what else to say, so I was happy when Angela interrupted our moment. "Hey, Edward!" she said excitedly, leaning over me. "Glad you made it!"

"I wouldn't have missed this game," Edward replied. "I've heard the rivalry with LaPush is a good one."

We settled in and enjoyed the game. As predicted, it was a great one. The entire game was close. The gym was noisy, and I was totally into the game. Angela and I were cheering loudly. It looked as if the game would go into overtime, but Emmett hit the winning shot at the buzzer. The gym erupted into cheers as the Forks fans poured out of the stands and onto the court. I flopped down in my seat, exhausted from all of the excitement.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Edward had to yell in order for me to hear him over the crowd.

I nodded. Edward took my hand and led me through the crowd. "Crap!" I exclaimed. "Alice is going to wonder where I went. I'm supposed to be meeting her."

"I don't think she'll mind." Edward pointed to mid-court where the cheerleaders were. Alice was waving wildly and winking at us. I shook my head and laughed as I allowed Edward to lead me out of the gym.

Edward opened the passenger door of his silver Volvo and helped me in before jogging to the driver's side. "Where to, madam?" he asked as he started the car.

"I don't know," I replied dumbly. "Alice had mentioned something about a party."

"There's a party at Ben's house, but I really don't feel up to going," Edward said. "I could drop you off there if you want to go."

I shook my head. "Nah. I'm really not a party person."

"We can go back to my house," Edward suggested. "I promise to be a gentleman. No funny business. Just talking."

I laughed at the sincere look on Edward's face and knew there was no way I could say no. We rode back to the house in comfortable silence, but every now and then I caught Edward glancing at me. I only noticed because I was doing the same thing to him.

Once we reached the Cullen home, Edward led me around the house to the fire pit in the backyard. He quickly had a fire going and sat next to me on the bench.

"So, Bella Swan, tell me all there is to know about you," Edward said.

"There really isn't much to know," I told him. "I'm quiet, nerdy, and bookish."

"I beg to differ," Edward disagreed. "I think you're quite a spitfire. You've put up with all my crap and never backed down. You deal with my crazy cousins on a daily basis."

"Your cousins are amazing," I replied. "I never had many friends in Arizona, so I love being with them."

Edward seemed shocked. "I find that hard to believe."

"It's true. Remember? Nerd." I turned the tables on him. "What about you, Edward Masen? What do I need to know about you?"

"I'm sure Alice has told you all you need to know, happy pills and all," he said quietly.

"But I want to hear it from you. Only if you're comfortable telling me, though."

Edward gave me a small smile and took both of my hands in his. "I _am_ comfortable telling you." He paused for a moment before beginning. "I'm from Chicago. My dad was a lawyer, and my mom was a music teacher. She's the one who taught me to play the piano."

"I didn't know you played the piano," I said.

He nodded. "I haven't played, though, since, well, you know. Anyway, my life was great. I had the best parents ever. I had my family here in Forks. I had great friends. Everything was perfect. Then some drunken fucker took it all away."

Edward grew silent. He dropped my hands and turned away. I placed my hand on his shoulder in an attempt to soothe him. "I'm so sorry," I murmured.

Edward clasped my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. "It's been so hard. I miss them so much. At first, I wanted to die too. Even though I had visited Forks a lot, it wasn't home. I missed my life in Chicago. I was crazy with grief. Hence the shrink and the pills. Anyway, I figured the best way to cope was to become this heartless asshole. I figured I couldn't get hurt again if I stopped caring. Then you showed up."

I was stunned. "What do I have to do with this?"

Edward took my hands again and smiled. "There was something about you, Bella. You were this breath of fresh air that charmed everyone. Alice has had her share of fake friends, so I knew you were a good friend and person if she took to you so quickly. I was afraid to let my guard down, though. I didn't want to get hurt. You not taking any of my shit only made me crazier about you. I really did do some thinking that night I got sick. I knew I had to at least be friends with you. I'd really like more if you'd do me the honor."

It took me a minute to find my voice. "Edward, I really thought you were the biggest jerk ever when I first met you. I'm glad you're trying to change, and I really like this new and improved Edward. I'm afraid, too. I'm afraid that you'll go back to your old ways and you'll hurt me. I won't let you do that. I won't let you hurt me."

"I promise I won't hurt you," he assured me. "I really want this, Bella. I want to live again, and I don't want to be alone anymore." He paused for a moment. "Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?"

I saw the sincerity in Edward's eyes, and I couldn't help but smile. "I'd love to go on a date with you, Edward. What did you have in mind?"

"How about dinner in Port Angeles?" he suggested. "There's a place called The Bloated Toad that I'd like to try. The name is weird, but Em and Alice rave about it."

"I've heard good things about it too," I replied. "Let's go there."

"Thank you, Bella," he breathed as he put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

We remained that way for a long time, just content with each other, until the fire began to die. Edward made sure it was completely out before leading me inside the house.

Alice was heading upstairs when Edward and I reached the staircase. "And just what have you two been up to?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

Edward laughed. "Give her the details, Bella. You know she won't give us a minute's peace until you do." He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before disappearing upstairs.

Alice dragged me up to her room and demanded to know what had happened. I told her what she needed to know while she squealed at such a high frequency I was sure dogs could hear her. She wanted to come over and beautify me for my date, but I assured her that I was capable of dressing myself. She only relented when I promised to call her on Sunday morning to tell her all about my evening.

As I nervously waited for Saturday evening to arrive, I thought that maybe I should have taken Alice up on her offer. It took me forever to decide on an outfit, but I finally chose a blue V-neck sweater and jeans. I straightened my hair and only put on minimal make up.

Edward arrived promptly at 6:30. "You look beautiful," he said as I let him into the house.

I blushed profusely. "Thank you," I replied softly.

Thankfully Charlie came into the living room and broke some of the tension. He shook Edward's hand and clapped him on the shoulder. "Edward! Good to see you! What are you kids up to tonight?"

"Hi, Charlie. We're heading to Port Angeles for dinner at The Bloated Toad and then maybe the coffee shop or bookstore. I'll have Bella home by midnight."

"No worries," Charlie said. "Just be careful and have fun."

Edward and I made comfortable small talk on the way to Port Angeles, and the hour drive flew by. Once we arrived at the restaurant and were seated, we talked about anything and everything: our childhoods, families, books we loved, school, hobbies. Edward actually had a great sense of humor and kept me laughing throughout dinner.

After dinner, we walked across the street to a coffee house that had live music. We sat close to each other in a booth as we discussed our similar musical tastes. Edward was surprised to learn that I was a fan of classical music. I made him promise to play the piano for me soon.

Neither of us wanted the evening to end, but unfortunately it did. Edward walked me to my front door before midnight, just as he'd promised. "I had a great time tonight, Bella," he said. "I can't remember the last time I laughed so much. Thank you."

"I had fun too," I replied. "I'm so glad I gave you a chance, Edward."

"So am I," he smiled. Edward then became serious. "Bella, can I kiss you?"

I didn't trust my voice, so I just nodded. Edward put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I put my hands on his shoulders as our lips met. Edward's lips were soft, but the kiss was searing. I felt it all the way to my toes. My legs felt like jelly. I couldn't believe such an innocent kiss could be so amazing.

"Wow," I said as we broke apart and Edward rested his forehead on mine.

"Yes it was." Edward kissed my cheek before reluctantly pulling away. "Good night, Bella."

"Good night," I said as Edward headed back to his car. "Please text me when you get home so I know you made it safely."

Charlie was already in bed when I got inside. I was glad because the blush on my face would have totally given away the fact that I was smitten with Edward, and I knew Charlie would tease me a bit about it. I was uncharacteristically giddy as I went up to my room to get ready for bed. I had just changed into my pajamas when the text tone on my phone went off. I picked up the phone from my nightstand and smiled.

 _I'm home but my safety is in jeopardy because I won't give Alice any details. Sleep tight.—E_

I laughed and texted back.

 _I promised Alice I'd give her a recap in the AM. Silly pixie! You sleep tight too.—B_

I definitely fell asleep with a huge smile on my face.

The next few weeks were spent in an Edward-induced haze. We spent as much time together as we possibly could. Baseball practice had begun and Edward was one of the team's starting pitchers, but he made time for us. If I wasn't at the Cullens, he was at my house. We had fun dates to the movies, the bookstore, and even the coffee house again.

I began to feel guilty about neglecting Alice, though, so we planned a girls' night sleepover. Edward and Jasper decided to do some male bonding over video games.

Alice and I had a great time. We watched chick flicks, pored through her fashion magazines, and shared the latest gossip. Apparently Edward and I were not the only new couple in town. Nessie and Jacob finally met at the party after the big basketball game and had been inseparable ever since.

About 1:00, just as we were falling asleep, I received a text. Alice did too, and she turned on the bedside lamp to see.

 _Can you please come to my room?—E_

"Did you just get a text from Edward?" Alice asked sleepily.

"Yeah. What's up with that? It's pretty cryptic."

"We're about to find out," she replied.

Alice didn't even bother to knock when we got to Edward's room. She just walked right in, and we found Edward sitting on the edge of his bed looking as if someone had dumped a bucket of water on him.

"What happened?" I exclaimed as I ran to his side.

"I don't know," he whispered. "I woke up drenched in sweat. My bed is soaking wet too."

"Is this the first time?" Alice asked sternly. The look on her face dared Edward to lie to her.

Edward shook his head. "It started about a week ago. The first time I thought maybe I was running a fever and it had broken. It's happened twice more since then, but tonight was the worst."

Alice frowned. "I'm going to get Mom and Dad."

"Ali, no. Please don't," he pleaded.

"This isn't normal, Edward. I'm waking them up." Alice left no room for an argument. She turned on her heel and left the room.

"She's right. Esme and Carlisle need to know," I insisted. I scooted closer to Edward and put my arm around him. I didn't care that he was sweating profusely. Something was wrong, and he needed me.

"I'm scared, Bella," he said in a barely audible voice. "I've been feeling better and now this is happening."

"It'll be OK," I assured him. "Let Carlisle help you." He nodded as Esme and Carlisle flew into the room with Alice right behind them.

"Oh my gosh, Edward!" Esme exclaimed, obviously shocked.

Thankfully Carlisle was calmer. "Alice said this has happened before. What's going on?"

"I don't know," Edward replied. "I just wake up covered in sweat. Tonight was the worst. My bed is all wet too. I don't know what's wrong."

"I don't know either, but we'll find out. It could be something as simple as an infection and fever breaking," Carlisle said gently. "First, though, we need to get you out of those sweaty pajamas and you need a shower. We'll change your sheets."

"I can take care of it. You don't have to do it," Edward insisted.

"Go. We've got this. Let us take care of you." Carlisle pointed to the bathroom. Edward reluctantly grabbed clean pajamas out of his dresser drawer and went to shower.

Alice and I stripped the bed while Esme got some clean sheets. I helped her make the bed, and the four of us waited for Edward to come out of the bathroom. When he did, he looked sheepish.

"I'm sorry," he began, but Esme cut him off.

"Don't you dare apologize," she gently chided. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You're sick, and you need us."

"You're going to see Dr. Hunter on Monday," Carlisle said. "Something's not right, and we need to figure it out. Now get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

Edward nodded as he got into bed. "Can Bella stay here with me? I promise we won't do anything. I just don't want to be alone." He looked scared, and I knew there was no way I could leave him.

Esme smiled at him. "Of course. Now both of you get some sleep. Love you, sweetie." She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.

"Love you too," Edward called out as his family left us alone. I climbed into bed next to Edward and cuddled up next to him. "Thank you for staying. I meant what I said. I really don't want to be alone."

"I'm here," I said softly. "You're going to be all right."

Edward kissed the top of my head, and I soon heard his breathing even out as he fell asleep. I lay awake for a little while longer with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. As I finally drifted off, I said a silent prayer that I'd hear that heartbeat for many nights to come. _  
_


	5. Chapter 5--Breakable

**Happy Sunday! Hope y'all are having a great weekend! Here's Chapter 5. Hopefully you'll get some answers here. Thanks as always to my BFF and beta BittenEV. She is amazing. The song for this chapter is "Breakable" by Ingrid Michaelson.**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to SM.**

 **Chapter 5—Breakable**

On Monday afternoon, I followed Alice back to her house. We were going to hang out, and Charlie would be joining us for dinner. I was looking forward to some "family" time.

Edward had stayed home from school today and gone to the doctor. I was anxious to hear about his appointment. He woke up Saturday with another night sweat. It was as bad as the one on Friday, and it upset him so much that Alice and Emmett had to stay with him until he fell back to sleep. Thankfully Alice said last night had been normal.

Alice and I walked into the kitchen to find Edward, Carlisle, and Esme in a heated discussion. They stopped talking and looked up when we entered.

"What's wrong?" Alice demanded.

"Oh nothing much. I just get to have surgery on Friday," Edward replied, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Edward, we've been through this," Carlisle said, his exasperation obvious.

I was so confused and shocked that I couldn't say anything. Alice sat at the table and pulled me into the chair next to her as we waited for an explanation.

Finally Carlisle spoke. "Dr. Hunter drew blood at Edward's appointment today and ran the tests while we were in the office. His white count was extremely high. Based on that, his fevers and night sweats, and the fact that his glands have been swollen for a while, we decided a lymph node biopsy was the best course of action."

"Can't you do a biopsy with a needle now?" Alice asked.

"You'd think so," Edward replied sullenly.

Carlisle sighed. "Needle biopsies aren't always accurate when it comes to the lymph nodes. Dr. Hunter is going to surgically remove a few of the lymph nodes from the neck, armpit, and groin. It's a simple outpatient procedure done under local anesthesia."

A terrible and scary thought dawned on me. "Isn't a biopsy used to diagnose cancer?"

Carlisle quickly tried to reassure me. "It's probably just an infection. Removing the lymph nodes will allow us to accurately diagnose and treat it."

"It's my body! I should have some say in what happens to it! It may be simple to you but not to me!" Edward got up from his chair and began pacing around the kitchen.

Esme went to Edward in an attempt to comfort him, but he only reluctantly returned her hug. "It's going to be OK," she soothed.

"No it's not!" Edward pulled away and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "It's easy for all of you to be calm because it's not happening to you! No one has asked me what I think and what I want!" He then turned to Alice. "Ali, do you mind if I borrow Bella for a bit? I know you were going to hang out this afternoon, but I really need her right now."

"Of course," Alice replied with a small smile.

Edward came over and took my hand and led me out the back door. "Thank you," he said over his shoulder Then to me he said, "I just need to be with you for a little while."

I squeezed his hand. "I understand. Where are we going?"

"A few years ago when I was visiting, I was hiking through the woods when I came across a meadow that was hidden away. It was so beautiful and peaceful. After my parents died, I started going there when I needed some space. Being there really calms me."

We walked for a short time before coming upon a clearing in the woods. I couldn't believe the sight in front of me. This meadow was filled with beautiful wildflowers just beginning to bloom for the spring. The grass was green and lush, and I heard a stream flowing nearby. It was paradise.

"Edward, this is amazing," I breathed. "I can see why this place calms you."

"I've never shared it with anyone." Edward sat on the grass and gently pulled me into his lap.

"Thank you for sharing it with me," I said. We sat in silence for a few minutes until I realized Edward wasn't going to talk unless I made him. "Edward, talk to me please."

He shook his head. "I feel like there's something Carlisle and Dr. Hunter aren't telling me. Like you, I think of cancer when I think of a biopsy. What if there's something really wrong with me? What am I going to do?"

I could see the tears in Edward's eyes and knew I had to reassure him somehow. "Edward, I don't think your uncle would lie to you. He's probably just trying to keep you calm."

"He's doing a terrible job of it," he muttered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm scared, Bella. I've never had surgery before. I've never even broken any bones. I've had stitches a few times, but that's it." Edward was running his hands through his hair and his eyes were wide as his words tumbled out quickly. "Something could go wrong, and then what? Suppose they do find out I have cancer? I don't want to deal with this! I need my parents. Why aren't they here for me? Why?!"

"Oh, Edward," I said sadly as I pulled him close for a hug. "I wish your parents were here for you too. I'm here for you, though. So are your family and friends. We're not your parents, but… we love you. Very much."

Edward looked at me and gave me a small smile. "You love me."

"I do, Edward," I replied without hesitation. "I do love you. I know it's probably too fast-"

Edward cut me off. "I love you too. I don't care if it's too fast. I don't care that we didn't like each other at first. You didn't run screaming from me, even when I was being a jerk. You let me into your heart and taught me how to love again. I love you, Bella." He pulled me close to him. "Thank you. Thank you for making me whole again."

We sat quietly again until Edward looked at his watch. "Crap. We'd better get back. I've got school work to catch up on, and I'm sure you've got homework."

I sighed. We did have work to do, but I didn't want to leave this magnificent place. As we headed back to the house, I said a silent prayer that Edward would be OK.

Edward and I walked back to the house hand in hand, and he led me up to Alice's room. We stood in the doorway and watched as she danced around her room to a Lady Gaga song on her iPod. We tried not to laugh, but we couldn't hold it in any longer.

"You suck!" Alice exclaimed when she realized we were watching her. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know you were born this way," laughed Edward. Seeing Alice acting silly was enough to visibly relax Edward a bit.

Alice ran over and hugged her cousin. "I'm sorry about everything. I wish there was an easier way instead of this biopsy."

"Me too," Edward sighed, "but if Carlisle says it's the best way, it must be. I'm not crazy about being cut on, but I guess there's nothing I can do."

"We're all here for you, no matter what," Alice assured him.

"I know, Ali. Thanks." Edward hugged her a little tighter before letting her go. "I'm going to leave you to do your girly things, but I'll see you at dinner." He kissed me softly on the lips and mouthed "I love you" before leaving us alone.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you are the most unnatural shade of red I have ever seen! Spill!" Alice flopped on her bed and patted the spot next to her.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yes it is, so you'd better tell me what happened." Patience was not Alice's strong suit.

I sighed dreamily. "Edward and I said 'I love you.'"

Alice squealed in a frequency so high that all of the dogs in Forks probably heard her.

"Uh, Alice, I think I'm deaf now," I said.

She playfully swatted my arm. "This is a big deal. Edward's dated a few girls, but he's never had a real girlfriend. I'm guessing he's your first boyfriend."

I nodded. "Yep. I know we're moving way too fast, but it just feels right."

"I know what you mean. I felt the same way when I met Jasper." Alice paused for a moment. "Have you slept with him yet?"

"No!" I exclaimed, turning red once again.

"Just asking," Alice said, holding up her hands defensively. "Edward's pretty old fashioned, though. He won't pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do."

"I'm not ready for sex yet. One day, but not now," I explained.

"Me neither. I'm still a virgin," Alice nearly whispered. "I love Jasper and I want to be with him, but not yet. He's been patient so far, but I'm afraid he'll get tired of waiting. What if he meets someone when he goes to college in the fall that's willing to sleep with him? What if he breaks up with me over it?"

I put my arm around Alice. "Have you told Jasper how you feel?" She shook her head. "Talk to him. Jasper seems like too good of a guy to break it off over something like that."

"You're right!" Alice said with a newfound determination. "I'll fight off any skank who goes after my man!"

We both fell back laughing. It felt so good to have a friend like Alice to share these things with.

Alice and I worked on our homework until Esme called everyone down for dinner. Charlie was already there, and he greeted me with a hug as I sat next to him. We were all filling our plates and starting to eat when Edward entered the dining room. He stood there awkwardly for a minute before speaking.

"Carlisle, Esme, I'm really sorry about the way I acted earlier," he apologized.

Carlisle got up from the table and went over to Edward. "I should be apologizing to you. You're right. We should have discussed this. While I feel like the surgical biopsy is the best option, you should have been involved in the decision."

"I know you're just looking out for me, but I'm scared," Edward admitted. "I'm scared of the procedure and scared of what they might find."

"Like I said, I don't think it's anything serious, but whatever it is, we'll get through it together." Carlisle hugged Edward, who smiled as he returned his uncle's hug.

"Now that you've made up, can we eat?" Emmett called out. "I'm so hungry I could gnaw off my own arm."

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, we raised you better than that!" Esme chided. "You act like you were raised by wolves!"

Emmett shrugged unapologetically. "Sorry, Ma. I'm a growing boy. I need sustenance."

The mood in the room lightened considerably after Emmett's little outburst. Dinner at the Cullens was always crazy, and tonight was no different. Both of my parents were only children, so I didn't have much family. The Cullens were quickly becoming the family I never had.

After dinner I ended up in the den playing video games with Edward, Emmett, and Alice. The guys were kicking the girls' butts, but I was having too much fun to care. I could tell Edward was tired, though, so I didn't stay too late. I was really worried about him despite Carlisle's insistence that he'd be fine. I had just found Edward, and I wasn't ready to let him go.

Edward became more nervous about the biopsy as the week went on. We all did our best to calm him, but nothing seemed to work. When he called me early Friday morning, he was a bundle of nerves.

"Calm down, Edward," I told him. "You're making me a nervous wreck. You'll be just fine."

"I'm sorry, but I can't help it," he replied apologetically. "I just want this to be over with. I'm actually looking forward to being drugged up so I can chill."

"It'll be over soon enough," I assured him. "I'll see you after school."

Edward's anxiety began to rub off on me, so I was feeling nervous when I got to school. Thankfully Alice was able to calm me. "It's OK, Bella. Relax. You know he's going to be just fine."

"I hope so, Ali. I hope so."

The morning dragged on, and I never thought lunchtime would arrive. When it finally did Alice pulled me towards the office instead of the cafeteria. "Alice, where are we going and why?"

"We're going to check on Edward," she explained. "I'm worried, and I know you are too. Hi, Mrs. Cope!"

"Well hello, Alice! What can I do for you?"

"Could I please use the phone to call my mom?" Alice asked. "My cousin Edward had surgery this morning, and I just wanted to see how he's doing."

Mrs. Cope smiled. "Of course, dear. Just press nine first."

Alice dialed and waited for Esme to pick up. "Hey, Mom! How did it go?" She paused, listening to Esme's response, and then giggled. "That doesn't surprise me at all! Give him a hug from Bella and me, and we'll see you after school." She was still giggling as she hung up the phone.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

Alice stopped laughing and rolled her eyes. "Typical Edward. He was so nervous by the time he got to the hospital that he had to be knocked out for the biopsy. Thanks, Mrs. Cope!" she called out.

"You're welcome, Alice! Is Edward OK?" Mrs. Cope called back.

"He's fine, thank goodness." Alice waved to Mrs. Cope, and we headed to the cafeteria.

"Is he really fine?" I asked nervously.

"Yes he is," she replied. "The biopsy went well, and he's awake from the anesthesia. They're heading home shortly."

I let out a huge sigh of relief as Alice and I got our trays and made our way to our table.

Emmett obviously knew what his sister had been up to. "Did you call Mom? How's Edward?"

Alice laughed again and explained. "He's fine, and everything went well. Edward was his usual nervous self, though, and had to be put under completely."

Emmett smiled and shook his head. "I'm not surprised. He was pretty scared this morning. I'm just glad it's over."

"Me too," Alice said in agreement. "Now we wait."

Thankfully the afternoon went by a lot faster than the morning had, and Alice and I were soon heading to the Cullen home. I was anxious to see Edward and assure myself that he was indeed fine.

Esme and Carlisle were in the den watching TV when we got to the house. Carlisle assured us immediately.

"Everything is fine," he promised. "Dr. Hunter got a good sample from each area, and hopefully we'll have the results soon. Edward's in his room. He's been sleeping since we got home. I know you're anxious to see him," he added with a smile.

Alice and I called out our thanks and went upstairs. We quietly entered Edward's room without knocking. He was lying on his right side sleeping. I frowned when I saw the small bandage on his neck. I hated to disturb him, but I couldn't help myself. I gently sat on the side of the bed and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

Edward's eyes fluttered open and he smiled. "Hey. You're here," he said sleepily.

I pushed his messy hair out of his face. "Of course I am. I told you I'd be here."

Alice bounded in from the doorway where she had been standing and knelt next to the bed. "How are you feeling? Any pain?"

"I'm a little sore and tired, but I'm OK. I freaked out this morning, though. I was only supposed to have a mild sedative, but Dr. Hunter went ahead and put me under general anesthesia. I think she was afraid I'd freak out even more once she started the procedure. I'm just glad it's over."

"Me too," Alice smiled. "I'm going to leave you lovebirds alone, but I'll be back later." She got up off of the floor, gave Edward a gentle hug, and left us alone.

Edward sat up slowly and opened his arms to me. I scooted next to him and fell into his embrace, careful to avoid where he'd been cut on his left side. He gave me a chaste kiss on the lips and sighed contentedly.

"I missed you. I wish you could have been with me this morning. You might have kept me calm."

"It's over now," I told him. "You can relax."

Edward frowned a little. "Yeah but now the waiting game begins. What will the results say? Carlisle seems pretty confident that things will turn out fine, but I still have that nagging doubt in the back of my mind. What if it is something more serious than a lingering infection? What happens then?"

I kissed him to cut him off. "We'll cross that bridge if we come to it."

"I need to find out soon," Edward said. "I'm missing baseball practice because I haven't been cleared to go back yet. Dr. Hunter won't let me play until we find out what's wrong and treat it."

I looked at Edward and smiled. "I do love a man in uniform." Edward laughed and responded by giving me a searing kiss.

"Get a room!" Edward and I broke our kiss and looked up to see Emmett in the doorway looking smug. Rosalie was next to him, laughing.

"Dammit, Emmett!" Edward yelled as he threw a pillow at his cousin. Emmett caught it and tossed it back to Edward and he and Rosalie sat on the bed.

"How are you feeling, hot stuff?" Rosalie asked.

"Tired and sore," Edward replied but then suddenly stopped and held up his right hand. A large bruise had formed on top of his hand.

Rosalie gently grabbed Edward's hand. "Shit, Edward, did the doctors beat you?"

"It's from my IV," he said.

"What kind of needle did they use? I've never seen an IV leave a bruise like this before." Rosalie was shocked.

"I've been bruising really easily," Edward replied sheepishly. "Last week I hit my hip on my nightstand, and it left a huge bruise."

I became worried because I knew that wasn't normal. "Does Carlisle know about this?"

Edward shook his head. "I never really thought about it. I was so worried about everything else." He groaned and fell back on his pillows.

"Hey, don't get upset," Emmett said. "You've had a lot going on. This is probably just happening because your immune system is low from being sick. I'm sure it's no big deal."

"I'm baaack!" Alice came bounding into the room with Jasper right behind her. All thoughts of bruising were forgotten as they climbed on the big bed with the rest of us. We laughed and cut up until it was time for dinner.

Carlisle examined the bruise on Edward's hand, but he didn't seem very concerned. That put all of us at ease, and Edward spent the rest of the weekend recovering.

Edward insisted on driving me to school on Monday, and I didn't argue with him. He showed up at my house fairly early.

I greeted him at the door with a kiss. "Not that I'm complaining, but what brings you over so early?"

"I couldn't sleep. Night sweat," he admitted. "I've been up since 4:00."

I frowned. "Edward, you really need to get your rest."

Edward looked at me sadly. "I know you mean well, but please don't baby me. I get enough of it from Esme and Alice. Carlisle too. Emmett is the only one at home who doesn't treat me with kid gloves."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," I apologized. "I just worry about you."

"I know, and I love you for it." Edward kissed me chastely on the lips, and I led him into the kitchen so I could finish my breakfast.

"Morning, Edward!" Charlie called out from his spot at the kitchen table. "Feeling better?"

"I am," Edward replied. "I'm just ready to get back to school. I need normalcy."

"Don't blame you," Charlie agreed.

"Do you want something to eat?" I asked. "I can fix you something pretty quick unless you want cereal."

Edward shook his head. "I'm really not hungry," he admitted.

I frowned again, but I didn't push the issue since I didn't want Edward to get upset. I finished eating my scrambled eggs, and we left for school.

Edward was self-conscious of the still-bandaged incision on his neck, but not too many people stared. By lunchtime our classmates' curiosity had moved elsewhere.

Unfortunately Edward overslept on Tuesday, so we weren't able to ride to school together. We didn't see each other until lunch. He had a lot of work to catch up on from the school he had missed, so he was going straight home to do homework. He promised to come by my house after dinner.

I did my own homework when I got home from school. It didn't take too long, and I got dinner started for Charlie and me. I had just put some pasta on to boil when the house phone rang. "Hello."

"Bella! Is Edward there?" It was Carlisle, and he sounded panicked.

I suddenly became very nervous. "No. He wasn't supposed to come over until after dinner. What's wrong, Carlisle? You're scaring me."

Carlisle sighed. "We got Edward's biopsy results today." He paused for a moment. "It's cancer, Bella. Edward has cancer."


	6. Chapter 6--Broken

**I know, it was evil of me to leave you with that cliffy at the end of Chapter 5. I'm sorry! Just so you know, I'm a HEA girl. I hope that makes you feel better! Thanks as always to my BFF and beta BittenEV!**

 **The song for this chapter is "Broken" by Lifehouse.**

 **In case you were wondering how I chose the title of the story, it's from the Goo Goo Dolls song "Iris." I felt the lyrics were appropriate for Bella and Edward here.**

 **Disclaimer: Belongs to SM. I own nothing.**

 **Chapter 6—Broken**

 _Carlisle sighed. "We got Edward's biopsy results today." He paused for a moment. "It's cancer, Bella. Edward has cancer."_

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I couldn't speak. I wasn't even sure if I could breathe.

"Bella? Are you there?" Carlisle's voice finally shook me out of my fog.

"I—I'm sorry. I just—I thought you said it probably wasn't…cancer." I could barely say the word.

"I was hoping it wasn't," Carlisle said sadly. "Dr. Hunter called today with the results. Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Esme and I told him when he got home from school, and he was so upset. He just took off from the house. We figured he'd come home before too long since he didn't take his car, but it's been a couple of hours. I need to find him. Please, Bella. Do you have any idea where he could be?" Carlisle's voice was strained.

"I know where he is," I said.

Carlisle breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness. I'll come by and pick you up."

"No, I'll come to you. He's actually pretty close to home." I knew exactly where Edward was. His meadow. "I'll be right over."

"Thank you, Bella," Carlisle replied, choked up.

I hung up the phone and tried to process what Carlisle had just said. No. He had to be wrong. It couldn't be cancer. I had no idea how I had remained clear headed while on the phone because the only thing that ran through my mind at this point was the word "cancer." This was Edward. He couldn't be sick. I felt sick. I thought I was going to throw up. This wasn't happening.

Then I remembered that Edward was missing. I had to find him and assure myself that this was just a sick joke. I somehow ran upstairs to get my jacket and keys so I could go and find him. On the way down I nearly ran over Charlie.

"Whoa, Bells, where's the fire?"

"I need to go, Dad. Edward needs me. I have to go."

Charlie put his hands on my shoulders to stop me. "What's going on, Bella? What's wrong with Edward?"

"Edward. I have to get to Edward," I insisted.

"Bells, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Where's Edward?" I could hear Charlie talking, but it sounded like he was in a tunnel.

I shook my head to try and clear it. "Edward needs me, Dad! Let me go!"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me, Bella. Did something happen to Edward?" Charlie gently put his hands on my face to look at him.

That snapped me out of my daze, and I broke down. "I need to get to the Cullens. Edward has cancer and he ran off and I have to find him. Please let me go." I was sobbing, and I wasn't sure Charlie even understood me.

"Wait, what, cancer?" Charlie was confused.

"Dad, I need to get to Edward." I went to push past Charlie, but he gently took my arm.

"I'll drive you to the Cullens," he said. "I can't let you behind the wheel like this."

Once we were in Charlie's police cruiser speeding towards the Cullen house, I was finally able to explain what was happening.

"Carlisle called. He got the results of Edward's biopsy. He has cancer. He got so upset when he found out that he ran off. I knew where he is, though, and I have to find him." I was sobbing once again.

"You'll find him, Bells," Charlie said soothingly. "You'll bring him home."

The ride to the Cullen house wasn't very far, but tonight it seemed to take forever. We finally did arrive, and I jumped out of the car before Charlie could even turn off the ignition. I ran through the front door and into the den where I found the Cullens and Jasper.

"Bella!" Alice called out as she ran over to hug me. It was the first time I had ever seen her truly upset. "You know where he is?"

"I do. It's a spot he brought me to once. He goes there when he's upset," I explained as I gently broke Alice's hug. "It's a meadow in the woods not far from here."

Carlisle began barking out orders. "Let's go. Emmett, get flashlights. You and Jasper will come with us. Charlie, do you want to come too?"

Charlie shook his head. "Do you really think it's a good idea for all of you to go? Edward's already upset, and you really don't want to ambush him."

Carlisle opened his mouth to speak, but Esme cut him off. "Charlie's right. Edward was very upset when he left. If he sees all of you coming for him, he may try to run away again. I think just Bella and Jasper should go." Emmett began to protest, but Esme cut him off as well. "Emmett, I know you too well. You'll let your emotions get the best of you. Jasper will be a lot calmer. Jasper, will you go?"

"Of course," Jasper replied.

Alice ran out of the room but quickly returned with two flashlights. "Please find him," she said.

Esme quickly hugged me as tears streamed down her face. "Please bring my Edward home," she pleaded.

"We will. I promise," I assured her.

Jasper and I headed out the back door and down the path toward the meadow. I was so upset and scared that I was surprised I was able to remember the way. Jasper radiated calm, though, and I was happy he was with me. He didn't say a word, but his presence alone was reassuring.

The woods were pretty dark, even with our flashlights, but we found the meadow easily. I had been right. Edward was lying there, curled up in a ball.

"You go and talk to him," Jasper whispered. "I'll stay back here until you need me."

I nodded and slowly walked towards the center of the meadow. "Edward?" I called out apprehensively, unsure as to how he'd react.

Edward sat up quickly. His eyes widened when he saw me. "Go away, Bella! I don't want to talk to you!"

I continued my approach. "I'm not going anywhere, not until you talk to me. It's dark and cold out here, and I'm not leaving you."

Edward wouldn't budge. "I said go away! I don't want to talk to you or Jasper or anyone else! Just leave me alone!"

"No, Edward. I won't leave. Let's go home so we can talk." I had no idea how I was so calm on the outside because inside I was a nervous wreck. My heart was beating against my chest, and my stomach was full of butterflies.

"I told you to leave!" Edward yelled before turning his back on me.

I continued to approach Edward anyway and sat next to him. The grass was wet, and I wondered how long he had been lying in it. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder, but he continued to ignore me. I didn't care, though. I wasn't leaving.

After what seemed like an eternity, Edward turned and looked at me. I placed my hand on his cheek. "Oh, Edward. We've been so worried. Please talk to me."

Edward began to tremble, and his tears began to fall as he let out a guttural scream. "I'm so fucking mad! Carlisle lied to me! He lied! He told me I was going to be fine! Well I'm not fine! I have cancer! Cancer! My parents are gone, and I have cancer! It's like some kind of sick joke! My parents are dead, and now I'm going to die! Carlisle fucking lied to me! Why would he do that?! Why did he lie to me?! It's not fair! I can't die, Bella! I don't want to die! It's just not fair!" Edward's angry sobs filled the air, and I felt totally helpless.

I finally took both of Edward's hands in mine. "Carlisle didn't lie to you. I'm sure he was just hoping for the best. None of us wanted to think it was anything serious."

Edward began yelling again. "Well it is serious! I was finally getting my shit together, and now I'm going to die! Why didn't anyone tell me I was going to die?!"

"No! You are NOT going to die! You will not leave me! Do you understand?" I would beg and plead as much as I had to.

"It's not fair!" he cried. "When my parents died, a part of me died too. I honestly wanted to be in a coffin next to them. I had given up on life. I just existed. Then you came along, and you began to heal me. You loved me. I love you, Bella, and I never wanted to leave you. Now I have fucking cancer and I'm going to die!"

"You aren't going anywhere," I insisted. "You're going to fight this with everything you have. Cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence anymore. You aren't going to leave me."

Edward pulled away from me. "It's going to be hell, Bella. Carlisle said the cancer was in all of the lymph nodes that were biopsied. Who knows how far it's spread. What if it can't be treated? What if I have just a short time left? I don't want to be in agony."

I took his hands again. "Look at me, Edward," I said sharply. He did. "I love you. Your family loves you. We need you here with us. You can't give up. We'll be with you every step of the way. Fight, Edward! Don't let the cancer win."

Edward fell into my arms and cried. I held him and rocked him gently. When I finally felt him relax a little, I motioned for Jasper to come over. He and I helped Edward to his feet.

"Come on, let's go home," Jasper said softly. Edward nodded and let us lead him back up the trail.

As we approached the house, I saw all of the Cullens along with Charlie and Rosalie waiting. Esme was wringing her hands nervously, but she cried out and ran to us as we got closer.

"Edward!" she cried as she threw her arms around him. "Don't you ever do that to me again! Do you have any idea how worried I've been?!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just, I had to process it. I'm sorry I ran away."

"Well you're soaking wet!" Esme gently chided. "Let's get you inside."

All of us made our way back into the house and settled into the den. Everyone began talking at once, but Esme insisted that Edward go upstairs to take a hot shower.

"Bella, you're all wet too," Alice noticed. "You should get changed as well."

"I'm fine. I don't need to change," I insisted.

Alice wouldn't budge. "I will not have my best friend die of pneumonia. Let's go." She then used her freakish strength to drag me upstairs to her room.

"Does Jasper know that his girlfriend has superhuman powers?" I quipped as I rubbed my arm.

Alice wasn't amused. "Ha ha. I mean it. I've already got a sick cousin, and I refuse to have a sick bestie." There were tears in her eyes as she spoke. I nodded and hugged her. "Go shower," she insisted. "I'll bring you some dry clothes."

I stepped into the shower, and my emotions hit me like a brick. I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor as my body shook with sobs. I cried until I had no tears left. I couldn't lose Edward. I needed him. His family needed him. I wasn't going to let him give up. I had just found him, and I wasn't about to let him go.

I finally got up and got out of the shower. Alice had left me some clothes, a pair of her pajama pants and one of Edward's t-shirts. I took a minute to inhale Edward's scent before getting dressed and going downstairs.

Edward wasn't downstairs yet, but we didn't have to wait long for him. He came down in pajamas, his hair a damp mess. He joined me on the sofa and pulled me close to him. After a brief awkward silence, he finally spoke. "So, what do we do now?"

Carlisle looked around the room. "Do you want to have this conversation here?"

Edward nodded. "You're all my family. We're in this together. I don't want to hide anything."

"OK. First you have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Denali," Carlisle began. "She's one of the best oncologists I've ever worked with. She'll order some tests and draw blood. I'm thinking she'll want you to have a PET scan and a bone marrow biopsy in order to stage the cancer."

"I guess I'll have to have chemo," Edward nearly whispered.

"Most likely but it's not as bad as it used to be. There are a lot of medications that will ease the side effects," Carlisle explained.

Edward opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. I squeezed his hand in encouragement. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "Am I going to die?"

Carlisle got up from his chair to sit next to Edward on the sofa. He took Edward's hands in his own and looked him straight in the eye. "We're all going to die of something. Will the lymphoma kill you? Probably not. It's actually a very curable cancer. I'm going to make you a promise, though. I will not let this cancer win. I will search high and low and do everything in my power to make sure you get the best treatment possible. I promise you, Edward, as a doctor and your uncle, that I will help you fight this."

Edward gave his uncle a small smile. "Thanks."

Carlisle put a hand on Edward's shoulder. "You are very welcome. Now why don't you get some sleep? Your eyelids are at half-mast."

"Do I have any Ativan left?" Edward asked in a small voice. "I just feel, ummm, I don't know how to explain it."

Carlisle cut him off. "You don't have to explain. I'll bring your pill up to you. And yes, Bella can stay until you fall asleep," he added with a small chuckle.

Edward stood up, and I followed suit. "Good night," he called out to his family.

We went upstairs silently. As Edward turned back the covers and got ready for bed, his eyes never met mine. He just kept his head down. As he finally got situated in bed, he turned and looked at me sadly. "You really don't have to stay."

"I know, but I want to," I insisted. "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

Edward shook his head, still not looking at me. "That's not what I meant. I'm sure you don't want a boyfriend with cancer. It's OK, Bella. I understand if you want to break up with me."

I was so shocked that it took me a moment to find my voice. "Why on earth would I break up with you? I love you, Edward. I don't care that you're sick. I want to be with you. Cancer doesn't change a thing." I had to convince him I wasn't going anywhere.

He snorted. "You say that now, but when I lose my hair and end up puking my guts up from being poisoned—"

"I'll be right by your side to love you through it," I interrupted, tears in my eyes.

"You really mean it," he said in shock and awe. "You're really going to stay with me?"

"I do mean it, Edward. I will always be here for you. I meant what I said. I love you."

"I love you too," he said, pulling me into a hug.

We separated a moment later when Carlisle and Esme came into the room. Carlisle had a prescription bottle and a bottle of water. "Here's your Ativan," he said, placing them both on the nightstand. "I'll leave the pills with you so you can take them whenever you need them."

"Thanks and I'm sorry," Edward said.

"Sorry? For what?" Carlisle asked, confused.

"For burdening you with an orphaned nephew who has cancer. I'm sorry you have to deal with me." Edward was looking down at his hands, but I could still see the tears in his eyes.

Esme became angry. "Edward Anthony Masen, don't you dare call yourself a burden! Do you have any idea how much we love you?!" She sat on the bed and took Edward's face in her hands. "I miss your parents so much, but I thank God every day that we have you. You are family, and family members don't turn their backs on each other. We are going to take care of you and not because we have to. We'll do it because we want to."

Carlisle sat next to Esme on the bed. "Edward, I know I will never take the place of your dad, but as far as I'm concerned, you're one of my children. I will always be here for you, and I will keep my promise. I will fight for you, and I will never give up on you. I love you," he added, tears falling down his face.

Edward leaned forward to hug his aunt and uncle, and the tears flowed freely for all of them now. "I love you both. I'm sorry for doubting you."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Carlisle insisted. "Take your meds and get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

Esme and Carlisle left, and Edward took his pill. He crawled under the covers and pulled me close to him. "I'm going to fight, Bella. I'm going to beat this."

"I know, but you need your rest in order to fight. Go to sleep." I kissed Edward softly on the lips and held him until he fell asleep, praying that he'd be able to fight this battle and win.


	7. Chapter 7--Team

**Happy Sunday, all! Here's the next chapter in my continuing saga. Thanks as always to my BFF and beta BittenEV for making me look better than I am.**

 **The song for this chapter is "Team" by Lorde.**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine. SM owns Twilight.**

 **Chapter 7—Team**

I awoke early the next morning after a fitful night's sleep. Edward's diagnosis had been such a shock. Cancer was the last thing any of us had expected. Unfortunately, Edward did have cancer, and we would all be there for him.

Edward called me before I left for school. Thanks to his meds, he had slept soundly. In fact, he slept so soundly that he didn't even know he had a night sweat. He was getting nervous about his oncologist appointment later in the morning, but I managed to calm him down. He promised to call me after school to tell me about his appointment.

News of Edward's cancer hadn't really spread, which was unusual for a small school. Alice did tell Angela, Ben, and Nessie before school since they were Edward's friends, and they were understandably upset. No one really talked much about it, though. We wouldn't know much about Edward's condition until after his doctor's appointment, and no one was willing to speculate.

School turned out to be an excellent distraction for me. I focused on my work and tried not to worry too much about Edward. I missed him sitting next to me in biology, but I concentrated on taking notes so I could share them with Edward later.

My phone rang as I was getting in my truck after school, and I quickly fished it out of my bag. "Hello."

"Hey." Edward sounded tired, but I was relieved to hear his voice. "I missed you today."

"I missed you too. How did everything go?" I smiled even though Edward couldn't see me.

Edward sighed. "Exhausting. I just woke up from a nap. I promise to tell you all about it later, but I have an emergency appointment with my shrink. I'm getting ready to leave now."

"I really don't like it when you refer to your psychiatrist as a shrink," I chided.

"I'm sorry. It just helps me deal when I can make light of it. Dr. Sanchez really is great. He's helped me so much," Edward explained. "Anyway, do you mind if I come over to your house after my appointment? I really need to get out of my house for a while."

"Of course. You can stay for dinner with Charlie and me."

"Good. I need some normalcy," he said. "Crap. I've got to go. I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you too," I told him as we ended our call.

When I got home, I did my homework then started on dinner. The doorbell rang about 4:30.

"Edward," I said happily as I opened the door. He stepped inside and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so happy to see you," he breathed. "Being near you is so calming."

"I could say the same about you. Tell me about your day," I said as I led him into the kitchen.

"What smells so good?" he asked as I checked the chicken I had on the stove.

"Chicken alfredo and don't change the subject," I admonished.

Edward sat at the table and sighed. "I guess things went as well as they could. Dr. Denali is a little younger than I expected, but she seems to know her stuff. I had so much blood drawn that I'm probably anemic by now. She also ordered some tests to stage the cancer and see how far it's spread. Tomorrow I'm having a chest x-ray, CT scan, and PET scan. I have to have something injected for the PET scan. I'll probably glow in the dark or something," he laughed. "Anyway, on Friday I have to have a bone marrow biopsy."

"More surgery?" I grimaced.

"Not exactly," he replied. "It involves sticking a large needle in my hip bone and taking a sample of the marrow from inside the bone."

I grimaced again. "That sounds really painful."

"I'll be sedated for the procedure, and the doctor will use a local anesthetic before sticking in the needle," he explained. "Unfortunately the bone can't be numbed, but it shouldn't be too painful." He paused. "Do you think Charlie would let you miss school on Friday so you could come to the hospital? I know you can't be with me during the procedure, but I'd feel a lot better knowing you were there."

"I'll talk to him. I don't think he'll mind," I said. "How was your other appointment?"

"Fine," he sighed. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything, but talking to Dr. Sanchez helped some. He wants me to take my Ativan if I need them, but I hate them. He also gave me some strategies to help me cope. So yeah. Enough about that. How was your day? What did I miss at school?"

I told him about my day and what he had missed. I was offering to make Edward a copy of my biology notes when Charlie arrived home.

"Edward! How are you today?" Charlie shook Edward's hand and clapped his other hand on Edward's shoulder.

Edward gave a genuine smile, obviously happy to be treated normally. "I'm better today. The oncologist gave me a rundown of all the tests I'll be having over the next couple of days."

Dinner was ready by this time, so the three of us fixed our plates and sat at the table before continuing our conversation.

"So what kinds of tests are you having?" Charlie asked as we began to eat.

Edward swallowed the bite he had taken and then answered. "Tomorrow I'll be getting scanned all day. PET scan, CT scan, and x-rays. Friday I'm having a bone marrow biopsy. Basically, I'm having a needle stuck inside my hip bone. I'm not looking forward to that one."

"I don't blame you. It sounds painful," Charlie replied with a frown.

"About the biopsy," Edward began. "Charlie, I was wondering if Bella could come to the hospital with me on Friday. I know she'd have to miss school, but I'd feel a lot better if she were there."

Charlie smiled and nodded. "Of course. I don't mind. Bells, you haven't missed any school since you were here, and your last report card was straight As. I think you can afford to take a day off."

"Thanks, Dad," I said. "I promise I'll make up the work I miss."

"Thanks, Charlie," added Edward with a smile.

Charlie and Edward began talking about sports after that, so I just smiled and followed along where I could. I tried to shoo both of them out of the kitchen after dinner, but they insisted on helping with the dishes. Edward stayed for a while afterwards and watched TV, but it was obvious he was getting tired. He told Charlie goodbye, and I walked outside with him.

"Thank you," Edward said as he pulled me close to him.

"You're welcome but for what?" I laughed.

"For agreeing to come with me on Friday and for treating me normally," he replied. "If I had been home this evening, my family would have probably walked on eggshells around me. I know they love me and that this is hard on them too, but I just want to be treated like the same old Edward. You and Charlie are concerned, but you still talked to me like I was me, not some poor cancer-stricken teenager."

"You are the same old Edward. Cancer doesn't change the way I fell about you." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him.

Edward deepened the kiss, and I wove my fingers through his hair and pulled him closer to me. When we finally broke the kiss, Edward rested his forehead on mine. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too," I told him. Edward gave me one last quick kiss on the lips before going to his car and heading home.

I went straight to the Cullen home after school the next day to be with Edward and see how he had fared with his scans. Charlie, Rosalie, and Jasper were also coming by since Esme was cooking dinner. Esme wanted things to get back to normal.

When I arrived at the Cullens, Carlisle and Edward were watching TV in the den. Edward looked a little loopy, and I became worried. "What's wrong?"

Carlisle laughed. "Someone had a problem with the PET scan machine."

"Hey, I was just a little nervous," Edward countered.

Carlisle laughed even harder. "A _little_ nervous? I believe your exact words were, 'Get me out of this fucking machine.'"

"Oh all right. I was scared," Edward admitted. "I felt claustrophobic and started to hyperventilate. I can't believe I needed an Ativan to get through it."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about," Carlisle assured him. "Those machines can be a little scary if you've never had those tests run before. Thank goodness you'll be sedated tomorrow," he added with a chuckle.

"Yeah cause sticking a giant needle in my bone isn't my idea of fun," Edward said. "I guess this is only the beginning of the poking and prodding, though."

"Get used to it," Carlisle told him. "You'll feel like a human pincushion before long."

Dinner was fun as usual. Emmett and Alice kept us laughing the whole time. Edward laughed and joked with his family, and he was visibly relaxed. Near the end of dinner, though, Emmett became serious and cleared his throat.

"Something I've learned through playing sports is the importance of teamwork," he began. Everyone looked around wondering where he was going with this, but we let him continue. "The team has to work together if they want to win. That's the common goal. Beating the opponent."

"That's really deep, Em, but what are you talking about?" Rosalie asked.

Emmett explained. "Well, we have a serious opponent to beat right now. Edward's cancer. He can't do this alone, so we have to work with him. We're a team. Team Edward. If we all come together, we can support Edward and help him kick cancer's ass. What do you think?"

Edward smiled, and his eyes got teary. "I think it's the greatest thing I've ever heard. You're right. I can't do this alone. I need all of you. I'd love it if you were all on my team."

Carlisle raised his glass. "To Team Edward. May we all do our part in kicking cancer's ass!"

Everyone laughed, and Edward and Emmett got up to hug each other. I knew Edward was worried about his family babying him, but I hoped Emmett's speech let him know that we were all in this together.

Team Edward came together the next morning to get Edward off to his bone marrow biopsy. Edward called about 7:00 to tell me that he and Esme were on their way to pick me up. Then Alice called. Edward had had a freak out moment before leaving, and she and Emmett had to give him a pep talk to calm him down. Their talk must have worked because Edward seemed relatively calm when he rang my doorbell a few minutes later.

"Pajamas. That's a good look for you," I teased when I noticed his attire.

"Oh shush," he laughed. "There's really no sense in me getting dressed up to have a medical procedure." He kissed me sweetly and walked me to Esme's car.

"Good morning, Esme," I greeted her as Edward pulled me into the backseat with him. "Where's Carlisle?"

"He has to go to work after the procedure, so he took his own car," she explained. "He'll meet us at the hospital, and he's going to stay with Edward during the procedure. He had a few patients to check on, so he left a little early."

We arrived at the hospital, and Carlisle was indeed waiting for us. After filling out a few forms at the admissions desk, Edward was brought back to the pre op area. Esme and I settled in the waiting room.

Carlisle came out a short while later. "Edward's ready to go in, but I wanted you to see him before he goes." We followed him back to the area where Edward was being prepped. "I should warn you that the sedative is kicking in and he's saying some pretty entertaining things," he added with a laugh.

My heart broke a little when I saw Edward lying in the bed. He was wearing a hospital gown, and a blue cap covered his hair. An IV had been inserted in his hand. His eyes were closed, but he opened them when we approached the bed.

Edward smiled when he saw his aunt. "Esme! I love you soooo much!"

Esme laughed. "I love you too, sweetie."

Then he saw me. "Bella," he slurred. "Come here. I've got a secret." I leaned over to hear what he had to say. "I loooove you the most."

"I love you, Edward, but you are stoned right now," I giggled.

Edward held up his hands and looked at them in confusion. "I'm not stoned. See? My hands work just fine."

The three of us were laughing hysterically at poor Edward when an attractive woman in scrubs walked in the room.

"Judging from the laughter, I'd say someone's good and loopy," she said.

Carlisle stopped laughing and introduced me. "Bella, this is Dr. Tanya Denali. She's Edward's oncologist. Tanya, this is Bella Swan, Edward's girlfriend."

Dr. Denali reached out and shook my hand. "It's nice to meet you, Bella. Edward talked about you the other day when he was sober," she chuckled.

Edward was right when he said Dr. Denali was young. She was absolutely stunning, tall with strawberry blonde curls and deep blue eyes. Carlisle trusted her, though, so I knew she had to be good.

"All right, Edward, are you ready to get this show on the road?" Dr. Denali asked.

Edward looked confused. "Show? We're going to see a show? Can we see the one with the minions? They're pretty funny."

We all laughed again. "I'd say he's ready," Carlisle said.

Esme and I kissed Edward goodbye and went back to the waiting room. I brought a book to pass the time, and Esme did some work on her iPad for her interior design business. Neither of us spoke. I think we were both too nervous.

Dr. Denali came into the waiting room about 45 minutes later. "Edward did great," she said, sitting next to Esme and me. "He slept through the whole thing. I want to keep him in recovery for at least an hour to make sure there's no bleeding and to keep an eye on his pain level. You'll be able to go back there once he's settled."

"When will you have the results?" Esme asked nervously.

"I'll have the biopsy results along with all of the scans when Edward comes in on Wednesday," Dr. Denali replied. "We can also begin discussing treatment options then." She stood up. "I'm going to check on Edward, and I'll see you shortly." She smiled and then headed back to the recovery area.

Esme seemed relieved. "I'm glad he slept. Otherwise he'd have freaked out. My poor Edward. He never freaked out about things before his parents died. This is just too much for him to deal with."

"He's going to beat this," I assured her. "He has to. I need him. We all do." I didn't know if I was saying this for Esme's sake or mine.

"Edward was always quiet but very intense, even as a little boy," Esme mused. "He had this fire inside him, but it burned out when my sister and brother-in-law died. My sweet, passionate nephew became an asshole." I looked at her in shock, and she laughed. "What? It's true. I remember that night the two of you collided on the stairs. I couldn't believe the way he talked to you. It was also the first time I saw that fire in him again. You've brought my nephew back, Bella. He's back, and I can't lose him. I've lost enough, and I won't lose Edward."

I reached over and embraced Esme as she cried silently. It was then that I realized Edward wasn't the only one who had suffered a great loss. Esme was likely hurting more than anyone knew.

"Esme? Bella?" We looked up to see Carlisle entering the waiting room. "Is everything OK?"

Esme wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Yes, dear. Just having a moment. Is Edward awake?"

"He's coming around. You can come back and see him now." We got up, and Carlisle led us to the recovery room.

Unfortunately, Edward wasn't silly or loopy like he was before the procedure. His face was twisted in a grimace. He was obviously in pain.

"Edward!" I cried out, rushing to his side. I brushed his hair off of his forehead and kissed him.

"It hurts," he whimpered. "Why does it hurt so much? Make it stop."

"Carlisle, do something!" Esme pleaded.

Thankfully, Dr. Denali walked in at that moment. "Is everything OK?"

"Edward is apparently experiencing some pain," Carlisle replied.

Dr. Denali frowned and placed her hand on Edward's shoulder. "I'll get you something." She turned to one of the nurses in the room and spoke softly. The nurse left the room, and Dr. Denali turned back to us. "Hopefully this will help. If not, we may have to admit him to manage his pain."

I sat in the chair next to Edward's bed and took his hand. "It's going to be OK."

Edward's eyes were shut tightly and his face was still contorted in pain, but he nodded slightly. The nurse returned quickly and handed a syringe to Dr. Denali.

"All right, Edward, this should help," she said as she injected the syringe's contents into Edward's IV. "I'll be back shortly to check on you."

I could feel Edward relax a few minutes later as his pain medication took effect. Carlisle and Esme were standing off to the side talking. I remained in the chair next to Edward as his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

Apparently I had fallen asleep as well because the next thing I remembered was Esme gently shaking me. "Bella dear. Wake up."

"How long was I asleep?" I asked as I stretched.

"About an hour. You and Edward both. Dr. Denali will be in soon, and I think she's going to release Edward," Esme explained.

I looked over at Edward. He was awake, and judging by his relaxed facial expression, he was feeling better.

"Hey." He gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand.

"Hey yourself. Feeling better?" I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed it.

"Yeah. It still hurts, but it's not as bad as it was before. I just want to go home. I want to sleep in my own bed," he said.

Dr. Denali came back a few minutes later and, after a quick examination, decided that Edward could be released. She gave him strict instructions to apply ice to the biopsy site to help with pain and swelling and to take his pain medication when needed.

We arrived at the Cullen house a short time later, and Edward went up to his room to rest. He was actually a good patient and followed doctor's orders.

Thankfully the weekend was quite relaxing. I spent time with Edward as well as the girls. He was feeling much better as the weekend went on.

Since he was feeling better, Edward wanted to go back to school on Monday. He knew he'd have to miss classes once his treatment began, and he was anxious for some normalcy. Carlisle agreed that it was an excellent idea.

Edward knew he'd get a lot of pity, but he wasn't prepared for the amount of support he received. Many of our classmates stopped to give Edward their good wishes. As a result, he was able to relax and get back into his routine.

Tuesday was an uneventful day, but I knew Wednesday would be rough. Edward had his appointment with Dr. Denali after school. Today she would be going over his test results and outlining his treatment. I was going to the appointment along with Carlisle and Esme, so Edward picked me up for school.

Carlisle and Esme met us at Dr. Denali's office. She called Edward in first so she could examine him. I nervously flipped through a magazine until the receptionist called us back. She led us to a conference room where Edward and Dr. Denali were already waiting. I sat next to Edward, and Carlisle and Esme sat across from us. Dr. Denali sat at the head of the table with Edward's chart. Edward took my hand under the table. His face was devoid of any emotion.

Dr. Denali opened the chart. "I know you're anxious to know what's what. Edward, the type of NHL you have is diffuse B-cell lymphoma. The good news is that it hasn't spread to the bone marrow. The bad news is that the cancer is in the lymph nodes on both sides of the diaphragm and in the spleen."

"Will you need to remove his spleen?" Carlisle asked.

"Probably not," Dr. Denali replied. "We don't like to remove the spleen unless it's absolutely necessary. Anyway, based on the location of the cancer, it's at a stage III."

Carlisle nodded. "Which treatment regimen are you going with?"

"Based on the type of lymphoma and being a stage III cancer, I want to go with R-CHOP," Dr. Denali explained. "Rituxan is a monoclonal antibody. It attaches itself to the cancer cells to help kill them. It's used in conjunction with three chemotherapy drugs, cyclophosphamide, doxorubicin, and vincristine. You'll also take large doses of prednisone for five days beginning on the day of your chemo. You'll have chemo once every three weeks."

Esme spoke up. "What are the side effects?"

"Hair loss and nausea are the most common side effects, although now we can often prevent nausea," Dr. Denali began. "We can give anti-nausea meds prior to the treatments. Mouth sores are also common, so you'll want to have a dental checkup to take care of any problems. You're more susceptible to infections, so we can't ignore even the slightest cold. Neuropathy is also a problem. You may have tingling or pain in your hands and feet or even stomach cramps." She paused. "Edward, you're awfully quiet. Do you have any questions?"

Edward just shook his head, looking slightly bewildered. "I'm fine. I'm just taking it all in."

Dr. Denali continued. "I'll order some tests to check your heart, liver, and kidney function before you begin chemo. Now I know you probably haven't even thought about being a father, but there's a chance that the chemo may make you sterile. Sperm banking is something you may want to consider."

The look on Edward's face was priceless after that suggestion. I looked across the table and saw Carlisle successfully stifle a laugh.

"Edward, you'll also have to decide how you want your chemo. Do you want a port in your arm or chest?" Dr. Denali asked.

"Chest. I want a central line in my chest," Edward stated emphatically. "It'll be less noticeable there."

"Good. We'll have to set up that procedure. It needs to be done in the hospital," Dr. Denali said.

"What about school? Will I be able to go to school?" Edward asked quietly.

"Yes. As long as you feel up to it, there's no reason you can't go to school. Forks High is small, and cold and flu season is almost over. If you get sick, though, we may have to rethink school." Dr. Denali smiled. "Edward, our main goal is to get you better and to keep things as normal as possible. Cancer and chemo are rough, but being with your family and friends will help you tremendously."

Dr. Denali said she would schedule Edward's tests and call with the details. We thanked her for talking with all of us and then headed back to the Cullen house.

Edward was quiet during the ride home, but I decided to let him be. He had just had a lot of information thrown at him and needed time to process it.

When we arrived home, we found Emmett and Rosalie in the kitchen. "What are you two cooking? It smells great in here," Esme said.

"We saw that you had the fixings for tacos, so we decided on that," Rosalie replied. "Em and I figured you could use a break."

Esme hugged both Rosalie and Emmett. "Thank you. I do need a break."

"I'm going up to my room. I need to lie down for a while," Edward said before disappearing upstairs.

Emmett frowned. "How did it go today?"

Carlisle sat at the kitchen table and sighed. "We had a lot of information thrown at us." He then proceeded to explain what we found out today.

"Well shit," Emmett said when Carlisle was finished. "It's going to be rough. I just hope he knows I meant all that team stuff and that we're here for him."

"He does, but this is a lot to deal with," Carlisle replied. "We need to give him the time and space to process it all."

Dinner was ready a short time later, and Edward came down to join us. Alice had gone to Jasper's for dinner, so things were a little quieter than usual. Edward didn't say much. He played with his food and hardly ate at all. He reminded me of the old Edward, the one I had seen the first time I had dinner at the Cullens'.

"Edward, are you feeling all right?" Esme asked, obviously concerned.

Edward just shook his head. "Not really. I just want to take a shower and get in my pajamas. May I be excused?"

"Go ahead, sweetie. I'll come up after we're finished here," Esme replied.

Edward kissed his aunt on the cheek before going to his room. The rest of us went back to eating until we heard a scream and a crash from upstairs. We all got up and ran to see what was going on. We found Edward in his room yelling and punching a hole in the wall. His hand was bloody. Emmett grabbed Edward around the waist to stop him. Edward fought back, though, and they both landed on the floor.

"Let me go!" Edward yelled.

"No. You can be as mad as you want, but you are not going to hurt yourself."

Edward continued to fight, but Emmett refused to let go. Finally Edward stopped and began to sob. Emmett just hugged him and let him cry.

"It's OK," Emmett said. "You have every right to be pissed off, but you can't hurt yourself." He motioned for me to come over. I sat on the floor next to them, and Emmett gently placed Edward in my arms.

"It's not fair," Edward cried. "It's just not fair." I held him and rubbed his back to relax him. It took a few minutes, but his tears stopped.

Carlisle slipped out of the room but came back quickly with his medical bag. After a few minutes when he realized Edward had relaxed some, he asked, "Edward, can you sit on the bed? I want to take a look at your hand."

Emmett helped Edward off of the floor and guided him to his bed. Emmett gave him one last hug before he and Rosalie left the room.

I sat next to Edward on the bed, and he leaned against me. Esme went into the bathroom and came back with a wet washcloth. Carlisle took it, pulled up the desk chair, and began to clean Edward's hand. "Not too bad," Carlisle said. "Just bruised and a little scraped up."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't think I was going to put a hole in the wall," Edward apologized. "Please don't be mad."

"We're not mad, sweetie," Esme assured him. "You just scared us. Next time take out your frustrations on something softer."

Edward smiled weakly. "Hopefully there won't be a next time." He paused. "This isn't going to be easy, is it?"

Carlisle shook his head as he wrapped gauze around Edward's hand. "Unfortunately it's not. Just remember that we love you and we'll get you through this."

"I suppose I'm lucky. I've got Team Edward to help me," Edward said. He pulled me close to him and kissed me chastely on the lips. For the first time all day he seemed to relax.

This experience wasn't going to be easy. I didn't want to see Edward suffer. I'd love him no matter what, though. I was on his team.


	8. Chapter 8--Carry On

**Welcome back to my little corner of the world! This chapter may not give you warm fuzzies, but please remember that I am a HEA girl. Thanks as always to my best friend and beta BittenEV who always makes my words look good.**

 **The song for this chapter is "Carry On" by fun.**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to SM.**

 **Chapter 8—Carry On**

It was a rare sunny day in Forks, a beautiful April Sunday, and Edward and I were in the meadow enjoying it. Edward was starting chemo tomorrow, so we wanted to spend the day together in his favorite place. We had packed a picnic and were relaxing after the whirlwind activities of the last week and a half.

Two days after his appointment with Dr. Denali, Edward had a central line inserted in his chest. It was an outpatient procedure, but it did require general anesthesia. I was a nervous wreck about the whole thing, but the procedure went perfectly.

The central line made things easier for Edward. He needed to have more blood drawn, so it was taken from the central line instead of sticking him. He also had tests to check his heart, kidney, and liver function so Dr. Denali would have a baseline before chemo started.

According to Edward, the worst experience was the sperm banking. He was mortified as he told the story of being left alone in an examination room with a cup and a stack of Playboy magazines. Emmett and Jasper were literally rolling on the floor laughing when Edward had finished telling it. Thankfully their reaction made Edward feel a little better.

Edward decided he wanted to have some fun before getting started on chemo, so we had a group date in Port Angeles last night. The whole gang was there: Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Angela, Ben, Nessie, and Jake. After a fun dinner at The Bloated Toad, we took over the coffee house.

Today, though, was just about Edward and me. We knew that moments like this wouldn't happen as often, and we wanted to make the most of it. I was sitting against a tree, and Edward was lying down with his head in my lap. I idly played with his hair, which made me a little sad. There was a strong possibility that he would begin losing his hair in just a month or so. Edward, however, was at peace. His eyes were closed, and he had a serene smile on his face. I wanted to freeze the moment forever.

"I love you, Bella," he said, eyes still closed.

I took his hand and held it up to my face, relishing in its warmth. "I love you too. So much."

"Will you still love me when I'm wearing dentures and Depends?" he asked with a chuckle.

That silly question made my heart soar. "Of course. I might even change your Depends for you." I was so happy that he was thinking about life after cancer and growing old.

"I wonder if I'll still have my own hips," he mused. "I hear hip replacements can be painful."

I couldn't help it. I fell over in a fit of giggles while my teenage boyfriend worried about hip replacement surgery.

"What's so funny?" Edward demanded as he sat up. "Artificial joints are no laughing matter. In addition to them being painful, they could set off metal detectors at airports."

I laughed even harder. "This is why I love you. You're always thinking ahead."

"I have to. I need to focus on something to get through the next few months. I need to think about my future or at least hope I have one." Edward's smile was now gone as he stared at the sky.

I gently placed my hand on his cheek and turned his face towards me. "Hey. You do have a future. You're going to beat this. You have to so we can get married and have test tube babies who will grow up to take care of us after our hip replacements."

Edward's smile was back. "You always know how to make me feel better." He leaned in to kiss me, but our innocent kiss soon became anything but. His tongue begged for entrance, and I parted my lips to let him in. Edward grabbed me by my waist to pull me as close to him as possible. I placed my hands on his shoulders, but they soon roamed down his chest. My hand brushed over the spot where his central line was, and I felt him stiffen. He pulled back and looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

"No, it's not your fault. It's all me," he insisted. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm just really self-conscious about this whole cancer thing. I can't imagine how I'm going to be when I lose my hair."

"You'll still be my Edward, even without hair. It'll just give me more places to kiss you."

"You'd better kiss me there. I don't want my bald head to get cold." Just like that, my Edward was back. We both relaxed again and spent the rest of the afternoon together.

Unfortunately, Monday arrived and burst our bubble of happiness. Edward would be checking into the hospital for his first round of chemo. Rituxan could cause some serious side effects when administered for the first time, so Edward would be staying in the hospital overnight to be monitored. He wasn't happy about it, but he understood. Esme was going to stay with him during his treatment, and Carlisle would spend the night at the hospital.

I called Edward before I left for school, but his phone rang and went to voice mail. I left him a message telling him I loved him and that I'd see him after school. I became worried when he didn't call or text back, but Alice explained the reason why when I saw her at school.

"Edward is a nervous wreck. He's making himself sick. He's already throwing up and he hasn't even had the chemo yet. He was in the bathroom when you called," she explained. "He didn't want his Ativan even though Dad insisted it was safe. At least he has his anti-depressant. I just hope he can sleep and rest during his treatment."

The school day dragged on, and I thought 2:30 would never arrive. When it finally did, I raced to my truck so I could get to the hospital. Emmett and Jasper had baseball practice, and Rosalie and Alice had cheerleading. They promised to visit afterwards, even though Edward had already assured them it wasn't necessary. Emmett insisted they would because part of Team Edward's job was to spread sunshine to the infirm.

My heart shattered when I walked into Edward's hospital room. He was asleep but looked absolutely miserable. He was covered with the hospital sheet and blanket along with a crocheted afghan, which was pulled up to his chin. He was curled up against Esme, who was sitting in the bed with him. She had her arm around him and was humming softly.

"How's it going?" I asked quietly, not wanting to wake Edward.

Esme frowned. "It's been awful. The Rituxan infusion had to be stopped twice. He started with a fever and chills, so the nurse gave him some Tylenol and stopped the drip for a while. Then after it was restarted, he began itching all over. The nurse stopped it again and gave him Benadryl. He's just been achy and nauseated ever since. Thankfully he fell asleep during the Cytoxan infusion. He should be getting the Adriamycin injection soon, though." She kissed him gently on the forehead. "Sweetheart, Bella's here."

It took Edward a minute to wake up, but he gave me a small smile when he realized I was there.

"I'm going to talk to the nurse," Esme said as she got up from the bed. "I'll be back in a few minutes." She kissed Edward on the top of his head and then hugged me before slipping out of the room.

I took Esme's spot in the bed and pulled Edward close to me. That earned me another sleepy smile. "I'm glad you're here."

"I am too. I've been thinking about you and missing you all day," I told him.

"I feel terrible," he said. "My whole body hurts, and I'm nauseated. I was itching so bad earlier that I thought I was going to scratch my skin off. I'm freezing."

I snuggled even closer to him. "Don't worry. I'll keep you warm."

Talking seemed to tire Edward, so we just lay there together. Esme came back a while later with a friendly-looking nurse named Maggie. She was carrying a syringe, which meant it was time for the next chemo drug.

"All right, Edward, it's time for the Adriamycin. Just relax." Maggie slowly injected the drug into Edward's IV. It took several minutes, and Edward remained as close to me as possible. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't asleep. Finally, Maggie was finished. "How are you feeling, dear?"

"Like crap," Edward muttered.

Maggie smiled sadly. "Do you need anything for pain or nausea?" Edward shook his head. "I'll bring you some ice. I know your mouth has to be dry and yucky."

"It is," he replied with a grimace.

"I'll be right back." Maggie left the room.

Esme sat down in the recliner next to the bed. She looked exhausted. "Edward, are you hungry? Dr. Denali said it's OK to eat. It might settle your stomach."

Maggie came back with a cup of ice, and I fed it to Edward with a spoon so he wouldn't have to pull his arms from under the covers. "I don't know if I could keep anything down."

"You won't know until you try," she told him. "How about some soup? That's always good when you're sick."

"I guess so," he relented.

"That settles it. I'll let Emmett know. He can bring you some when he comes by." Esme pulled out her phone and texted Emmett.

Edward dozed off again, and I continued to hold him close to me. Esme and I talked softly so as not to wake him. Alice and Rosalie arrived a short time later. Edward didn't even stir as Esme told them about what had happened during the day. Emmett and Jasper got there not long after the girls did, and I had never seen Emmett look so serious. The look of sadness on his face was obvious as he looked at his cousin.

Maggie came into the room not long after the guys had arrived. "Last one of the day. Time for Oncovin." Edward awoke as she began the IV push. Everyone sat silently, unsure of what to say or do. "All done," Maggie said when she was finished. "I see you've got some dinner. You may feel a little better if you eat. Just call me if you need anything."

"What happened at school today? You've got to keep me in the loop." Edward ate as we told him what had gone on during the day.

"Looks like the whole team is here." Carlisle entered the room, smiling brightly. "How are you feeling?"

"Crappy. Having poison injected into your veins isn't much fun," Edward replied glumly. He paused for a moment and then clutched his stomach. "Oh God. I think I'm going to be sick."

Carlisle grabbed a plastic tub from the bedside table just in time. He held it under Edward's chin just as he began to throw up. I rubbed his back gently, hoping to give him some comfort. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Esme ushering everyone out of the room. Edward vomited until he had nothing left in him. He leaned back against the pillows, absolutely exhausted. I could see tears mixed with the sweat on his face. "Make it stop," he whimpered softly.

Carlisle took the plastic tub into the bathroom to clean it out. Esme came in with two wet washcloths. She used one to wipe Edward's face and placed the other one on his forehead. "Maggie will be here in a minute with some medicine. It's going to be OK," she told him reassuringly.

Maggie appeared just then with a syringe. "I've got some Reglan here to make you feel better. Hopefully this will stop you from getting sick again." She injected the medicine into the IV just as carefully as she had done with the chemo drugs. "Dr. Denali is here. She's with another patient, but she'll be in to see you shortly." Maggie patted him on the shoulder before leaving.

The rest of the gang came back into the room. "We're heading home, but we wanted to say goodbye first," Alice said. She and Rosalie kissed him on the forehead while Emmett and Jasper each gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Esme darling, maybe you should go home too," Carlisle suggested. "You've been here all day, and I know you're tired."

"I will, but I want to talk to Dr. Denali first," she replied. Carlisle nodded in understanding.

Dr. Denali came in a few minutes later. "I hear we're not doing too well," she frowned. Edward grimaced. She looked at his chart and continued. "Maggie has filled me in, and believe it or not, you didn't do too badly. Your reaction to the Rituxan wasn't as serious as it could have been. Hopefully the nausea is over and done with. I know you don't even want to think about food right now, but I want you to try and eat some crackers or something light tonight. We'll keep a close eye on you, and if all goes well, you can go home in the morning."

Edward nodded in reply. "How long does this last? When am I going to feel somewhat normal?"

Dr. Denali pulled a chair next to the bed. She sat down and took Edward's hand. "Chemo sucks, Edward. You may feel much better tomorrow, or it might take a few days. Everyone reacts differently. Let's just take it one day at a time."

"Thanks, Doc. I'll try." Edward smiled weakly.

"Good. Call the nurses if you need anything at all. They'll call me if you need me." Dr. Denali stood up. "Get some rest and I'll see you in the morning," she added as she left.

"Will you be all right if I leave?" Esme asked nervously. "Maybe I should just stay. What if something happens and—"

Carlisle cut her off with a laugh. "I can handle it. I'm not a mom, but I _am_ a doctor. Besides, I think Emmett and Alice need some reassurance after this evening. You're better at that than I am."

As Esme gathered her things, I noticed that Edward had fallen asleep again. I really didn't want to leave him, but there wasn't much I could do here. I was feeling torn.

Carlisle must have sensed my feelings because he placed his hand on my shoulder and smiled. "I know you want to stay, Bella, but I have a feeling Edward's going to sleep most of the night. Go home and get some rest. He's going to need you more when he gets home, so relax while you can," he added with a laugh.

I knew Carlisle was right, so I decided to go home. Edward was out like a light. He didn't even stir when I kissed him goodbye. Esme and I walked out of the hospital together, hugging each other tightly before heading for home.

Charlie was on the sofa watching baseball on the flat screen when I got home. I went to sit with him for a few minutes before going upstairs for the night.

"I ordered pizza for dinner. I saved you some. It's on the stove if you want it," he offered.

"I'm really not hungry," I replied softly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Charlie asked.

My eyes filled with tears. "Oh Dad, it was awful. Poor Edward. The chemo made him so sick. He was nauseated and threw up. He's cold and achy and so weak. I hated seeing him like that knowing I couldn't do anything for him." My tears were flowing freely now.

Charlie hugged me. "You are doing something for Edward. You're loving him. Just being there for him helps. I see how he relaxes when you're together. Just love him, Bells. He needs that."

"Thanks, Dad. You're pretty wise."

"I have to be. Wisdom is part of the dad exam. If I didn't show wisdom, my dad license would be revoked."

I looked at Charlie strangely for a moment and then we just couldn't help but laugh. At least he had put me in a better mood.

I slept well that night, so I was feeling good when I woke up extra early the next morning. I wanted to stop by the hospital before I went to school.

Carlisle was lying in a recliner next to the bed, but he was awake. "Bella! What are you doing here so early?"

"I wanted to check on Edward before school. How was he last night?"

"He actually had a really good night," Carlisle said with a smile. "He slept until nearly 10:00. He had some crackers and Gatorade then and was able to keep it all down. The only problem was when he went to the bathroom. Adriamycin turns the urine red, and he freaked out a bit when he saw it. He thought he was bleeding internally or something, and it took me a while to convince him otherwise. Thankfully he calmed down, and he ended up sleeping all night."

I let out a sigh of relief. "I'm glad all was well. I was worried when I left."

"I'm glad too," Carlisle replied. "I was worried he'd be sick all night. Hey, do you mind if I step out for a minute? I want to call Esme. I'm sure she's been a nervous wreck."

I nodded. "Go ahead. I've got time before I have to leave."

Carlisle stepped out into the hallway, and I sat in the recliner. Edward began to stir under his pile of blankets, and he finally opened his eyes. I was rewarded with a sleepy smile.

"Hello, beautiful," he said.

"Hello, handsome," I replied, giving him a smile in return. "How are you feeling?"

"Not too bad actually. I guess getting a good night's sleep helped. I just hope I get to sleep in my own bed tonight."

"Do you think you'll be able to go home today?" I asked him, taking his hand in mine.

Edward brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. "I should. Dr. Denali said I'd only be here overnight unless I had a bad reaction or got really sick. She'll be here early this morning, so hopefully she'll spring me by lunchtime."

Carlisle came back into the room and smiled when he saw Edward awake and talking. "I was right. Your aunt was a nervous wreck. She said Alice threatened to slip her one of your Ativan if she didn't chill out." We laughed, and Carlisle continued. "She'll be here in about an hour and said to call her if you needed anything. I'm glad you're awake because it's almost time for your meds. You'll get your second dose of Prednisone this morning along with your daily Zoloft. Tonight I'll give you your Neulasta shot."

"Is that the one to prevent infections?" I asked. I had a hard time keeping all of the drug names straight.

"It is. It helps keep the while cell count up so the body can fight off infections," Carlisle explained.

I quickly checked the time on my phone and realized I had to leave for school. I actually pouted. "Crap. I have to go."

"It's OK. We'll see each other later," Edward said reassuringly. "Tell everyone hi for me and get all the juicy gossip so you can tell me all about it."

I kissed Edward chastely on the lips and Carlisle hugged me before I left. I made it to school with plenty of time to spare. Alice, Nessie, and Angela were in our usual morning spot in the courtyard, so I joined them.

Alice smiled knowingly. "I knew you'd stop at the hospital this morning. Dad said Edward had a good night, but how is he today?"

"Pretty good," I replied. "He said he slept well and was eager to go home."

"Dad told Mom that Edward totally freaked out over the red pee last night," Alice laughed.

"Red pee? What are you talking about?" Nessie asked, confused.

Alice talked through her laughter. "One of the chemo drugs turns your urine red. When Edward went to the bathroom last night he thought he was bleeding internally or something." She was laughing so hard that she was crying.

"Alice!" Angela and I exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, but that was a classic Edward reaction," Alice said, wiping her eyes.

Thankfully, the first bell rang, and we were spared from any further discussion about Edward's urine. Many of our classmates and several of our teachers asked about Edward throughout the day. I did my best to focus on my work so I wouldn't spend my day worrying about Edward.

The end of the school day arrived, and I pulled out my phone as soon as I was in the parking lot. I smiled when I saw I had a voice mail from Edward. I played it as soon as I got in my truck.

"Hi, love. It's just after noon, and I'm home. I'm feeling good, just tired, so I'm going to bed for a while. Esme said to tell you that she's cooking dinner and that she's already talked to Charlie. I guess I'll see you after school. Be safe. I love you."

I was sitting in my truck and smiling at my phone when I heard Alice call my name. I rolled down the window as she came over.

"Are you coming over to the house?" she asked.

"Yeah. I was just listening to a voice mail from Edward," I said. "I'll follow you."

Alice and I made our way to her house. As we walked in the door, I heard music. Alice practically squealed in delight and dragged me to the living room. I was confused until I saw Edward sitting at the grand piano. He was completely immersed in the music he was playing.

We stood in the doorway next to Esme, just watching Edward. Esme had tears in her eyes. "I can't believe it," she said. "This is the first time he's played since his parents died."

Edward finished the song he was playing, and Esme, Alice, and I clapped. He turned around, stunned. "I didn't realize I had an audience."

Esme rushed over to hug him. "Oh sweetheart, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you play."

"It finally felt right," he said. "I finally realized how much I missed it."

"I missed it too," Esme said. "Come on, Alice. Let's give Edward and Bella some privacy." She and Alice left the room, and I went to sit next to Edward on the piano bench.

Edward turned and kissed me, but this wasn't like the chaste kisses we shared in the hospital. This one was filled with desire and longing. When we finally broke apart, Edward rested his forehead against mine and smiled. "I've missed that."

"Me too," I breathed. "Will you play for me?"

Edward smiled wider. "Of course. Any requests?"

I shook my head, so Edward just began playing. I recognized the song as "Claire de Lune," one of my favorite classical pieces.

"That was beautiful," I said when he finished the song. "So what made you want to play again?"

"Being so sick made me realize that life's too short," he explained. "I was so angry about losing my parents, and the piano only made it worse. My parents loved to hear me play, and it just hurt knowing they'd never hear me again. I thought about it this morning, though, and I knew they'd be mad at me for giving it up. When I woke up from my nap, I decided I needed to play again. Music is also pretty soothing. I could use that about now."

"I'm happy you decided to go back to it," I told him. "Now keep playing."

Edward played a few more songs before we joined Alice at the kitchen table to do our homework. Edward's teachers had been sending his work home so he could keep up. Despite missing so much school over the last couple of months, he still maintained a 4.0 average.

Dinner was loud and crazy as usual. Edward ate quite a bit. The Prednisone he was taking gave him an appetite, and I think we were all happy to see him eat.

Once the dinner dishes were cleared, Carlisle spoke. "Edward, it's time for your shot. I'll get it set up in the kitchen."

Edward nodded and then looked at me. "Will you come in there with me? You can hold my hand."

I couldn't resist his adorable puppy dog pout, so I followed him into the kitchen. Carlisle was sitting at the table putting on a pair of rubber gloves. He motioned for Edward to sit next to him.

"Roll up your pants leg," Carlisle said. "I'll give it to you in your thigh this time."

"Can't you do it in my butt?" Edward asked he pulled up the leg of his pajama pants.

"Unfortunately no," Carlisle chuckled as he cleaned the injection site with an alcohol wipe. "It's the thigh or the stomach."

Edward's eyes bugged out at the mention of getting a shot in the stomach. "Then my leg it is."

Carlisle laughed again but got serious when he picked up the needle. "Ready?" he asked, and Edward nodded. He stuck the needle in Edward's leg, and Edward grimaced a little.

"All done. How was it?" Carlisle asked.

"Not bad," Edward replied.

We went into the den to watch TV, but I didn't stay much longer. Edward could barely keep his eyes open, and he really needed his rest.

I received a text from Edward the next morning as I was getting dressed for school. I frowned when I read it.

"In so much pain. Hurts all the way to my bones. Side effect of the Neulasta."

I typed out a reply. "I'm sorry. I wish I could take the pain away. I hate this."

Edward didn't reply until I was leaving the house. "I know. Took some pain meds. Going to try to sleep. Love you."

"Love you too," I replied.

Unfortunately, Edward's pain only got worse as the day went on. When I went to see him after school, he was lying in bed curled up in a ball. I sat next to him and tried to comfort him as much as possible.

Esme came into the room with a worried look. "I just got off the phone with Dr. Denali. She's going to call in a prescription for a pain pill, something strong. Apparently the Neulasta stimulates the bones to produce more marrow, and that causes the pain. There's really not much we can do about it."

"Just make it stop," Edward whimpered.

"I'm going to call Carlisle to have him pick up your prescription." Esme reached down to smooth Edward's hair and kissed him on the forehead. "Just hang on a little bit longer, sweetie."

I held Edward and did my best to soothe him until Carlisle came home with a prescription for Percodan. Thankfully it knocked Edward out. I knew he'd be asleep for a while, so I went home to cook for Charlie and stay caught up on my schoolwork. I hated to leave Edward, but I knew I had made the right decision when Alice texted me around bedtime to say that he was still asleep.

Thursday was a better day. The pain wasn't as intense, so Edward was able to go for longer periods without the Percodan.

Edward called me Friday morning as I was driving to school. "Can I please come over to your house this afternoon?" he nearly begged. "I'm feeling better, and I need to get out of this house."

I laughed. "Of course. Do you want me to pick you up after school?"

"Yes please," he eagerly replied. "I'm really tired of just lying around."

"Will Carlisle and Esme be OK with you going out?" I asked him.

"They'll have to be OK with it," he said emphatically. "I can't be an invalid all the time."

Edward and I finalized our plans for the evening as I pulled into the school parking lot. I was in a good mood all day knowing I'd be spending quality time with Edward.

I drove straight to the Cullen house after school and laughed when I saw Edward sitting on the porch steps waiting for me. He looked like an eager little boy. He jumped up when I stopped the truck and climbed in the passenger side.

"Someone's in a good mood," I noted as Edward leaned in to kiss me.

"I've spent the last four days feeling like shit," he said between kisses. "Humor me."

I drove home after our little makeout session. Edward smiled as I pulled in the driveway.

"I've missed hanging out at Chez Swan," he said as we went inside.

"You really are in a good mood today," I said.

He smiled again. "I finally feel somewhat normal. I'm with my beautiful girlfriend at her house. Of course I'm in a good mood."

Edward decided that he wanted pizza for dinner, so we snuggled on the sofa and watched TV until it was time to order the pizza. By the time Charlie got home, the pizza had arrived and the table had been set.

"Edward!" Charlie called out. "It's great to see you. I didn't know you were coming by today."

"I had to get out of my house. I needed to be normal for a while. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired," Edward explained.

"Well I'm glad you're here. The Mariners are playing tonight, and Bells isn't a huge sports fan. I need a guy to watch the game with," Charlie said.

"Geez, thanks, Dad," I said as Edward and Charlie laughed.

I could see the sparkle in Edward's eyes as he and Charlie talked about sports. After dinner I shooed them into the living room while I straightened up the kitchen. When I joined them, they were totally into the Mariners game. I cuddled with Edward on the sofa and tried to follow along.

About eight o'clock, though, I could tell that Edward was getting tired. "I hate to leave so early, but would you mind bringing me home?" he asked me.

"I'm glad you came by tonight, Edward," Charlie said. "I hope you'll be over more often."

Edward smiled. "I plan on it, Charlie. Thanks for everything."

Edward and I rode in comfortable silence. When we reached his house, I got out of my truck and walked him to the front door.

"I had fun tonight," Edward said. "It felt so good to get out."

"I'm glad," I replied. "It was fun to see my old Edward. I love you."

"I love you too," he said as he pulled me in for a kiss. Then he gave me one last smile before going inside.

As I drove home, I couldn't help but smile as well. While I knew that things would be rough at times, I also knew that Edward would fight hard to overcome it all.


	9. Chapter 9--I Will Never Let You Down

**Happy Sunday, friends! Here's the latest in my little story. Thanks as always to my BFF and beta BittenEV for hooking me up here.**

 **Just a little note: this is the last chapter I had already written. Chapter 10 is about three-quarters complete, and I still have to send it off to beta. I'm hoping to update next Sunday as usual or even Monday, but I can't promise. I'll do my best, though!**

 **The song for this chapter is "I Will Never Let You Down" by Rita Ora.**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to SM.**

 **Chapter 9—I Will Never Let You Down**

It was a typical overcast Sunday afternoon in Forks, but Edward and I were enjoying some time in the meadow. Edward was having his second round of chemo tomorrow, so he wanted to come out here to relax.

The last two weeks had been good ones for Edward. He returned to school a week after his first chemo. He was absolutely exhausted at the end of the school day, but his mood was better than it had been since his diagnosis. He was happy to be with our friends and to be doing normal things.

Edward had also continued playing the piano. His family was thrilled he had started playing again. I loved sitting next to him on the piano bench while he lost himself in his music.

"I'm nervous," Edward said quietly.

I turned to look at him. "Nervous? About what?"

"Chemo tomorrow. I'm having it as an outpatient. What if something happens? What if I get sick?" He looked down at the ground.

I lifted his chin with my finger. "Hey. Don't be scared. Even though you'll be outpatient, you'll still be in the hospital. You're still going to be monitored closely. Worst case scenario is that you'll have to be admitted."

"I guess so," he sighed. "Dr. Denali said that the second round is easier than the first. She's the doctor, so she should know." He paused. "I'm also nervous because the side effects of the chemo really start to kick in after the second round. I'm probably going to lose my hair soon, and then everyone will know I'm sick."

"It'll be easier to see your handsome face without all that hair in the way," I teased.

Edward looked at me and laughed. "You always know how to make me feel better."

"It's my job as your girlfriend to make you feel better. Don't ever forget that." I kissed him sweetly on the lips.

Unfortunately, I couldn't make Edward feel better the next morning. He didn't answer his phone when I called him, so I called Alice.

"He's in the bathroom throwing up. He's so worked up about the chemo that he's making himself sick," Alice explained. "Wait, hold on a second."

"Bella," Edward rasped.

I frowned even though I knew he couldn't see me. "Edward, making yourself sick isn't going to help anything."

"I can't help it. I'm scared," he replied softly.

My heart broke. "Oh, Edward. I'm sorry. Don't be scared, though. It's going to be OK. You've got excellent doctors and nurses taking care of you."

"I know, but I'm scared of getting sick," he admitted.

"Don't even think about it," I told him. "If you think you're going to be sick, you will be. No negative thoughts. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am," he laughed. "You can be really bossy."

"Don't let it happen again," I said.

I thought about Edward all day while I was at school. He had insisted on going to his treatment alone today. Esme wasn't happy about it, but Edward didn't want her stuck at the hospital all afternoon. She was going to drop him off, and Carlisle would stick around after his shift ended to drive him home.

Despite Edward's insistence at going alone, I went to the hospital anyway after school. I found the outpatient cancer center easily and approached the nurse's desk.

I was greeted by a pretty red-haired nurse. "Hi! Can I help you?"

"I'm here to see Edward Masen," I said nervously.

"Sure! He's my patient today," she said brightly as she led me through a set of double doors. "You must be his girlfriend. I'm Victoria."

"I'm Bella," I replied. "How is he doing?"

Victoria smiled. "He's doing very well. He didn't have any reactions to the Rituxan, which is great. He was a little nauseous earlier, so I gave him some Reglan to help him out. He's only got the Oncovin left, and I'll give him that in just a few minutes." She stopped as we neared a curtain. "Edward's right in there. Go on in, and I'll be back in a few minutes."

I walked in and saw Edward lying in a recliner. He was asleep and covered in the same afghan I had seen during his last treatment. His Kindle was on the table next to the recliner along with his phone. His earbuds were in, so he was obviously listening to music on his phone. His face looked serene, which was a huge difference from his first treatment. I leaned over and kissed his lips.

Edward opened his eyes, smiled, and pulled out his ear buds. "Bella! What are you doing here?"

"I needed to be with you," I said as I took his hand and sat in the chair next to his recliner. "I know you wanted to be alone, but I wanted to be here."

"I'm glad you came," he said, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it. "It hasn't been too bad."

"I met your nurse, and she told me you were doing well," I said. "I'm very happy."

"Me too," he replied. "No bad reactions and no more nausea."

"Knock knock," came a voice from behind the curtain. It was Victoria. "It's time for your Oncovin."

"Let's get this over with," Edward said.

Victoria took Edward's IV line and injected the Oncovin. Her cheery smile was replaced by a serious look as she did the IV push. She carefully injected the medicine and smiled again when she was finished. "All done!" I want you to relax for a little while. If everything's good when I come back, you'll be able to go home. Can I get you anything right now?"

"No thanks, I'm fine," Edward replied, and Victoria left us alone.

I was telling Edward about my day at school when Carlisle came in. "Bella! I didn't know you were coming by."

"I missed Edward, so I came to sit with him," I explained.

"I'm glad. I don't like him being alone." Carlisle gave Edward a stern look.

"Can you blame me?" Edward asked. "It can't be very exciting to sit here and watch me have chemo."

"No, but it's good to have some company," Carlisle insisted. "Anyway, Victoria said that everything went well today."

Edward smiled. "It was nothing like the last time. The Reglan stopped the nausea before it got bad. I'm achy and tired, but I don't feel like death. I just want to go home and lie down in my own bed."

Victoria came in a few minutes later and did a thorough check of Edward's vitals. "Everything looks good, Edward," she said as she removed the IV tube from the central line. "You're free to go home. Your next appointment will be three weeks from today at the same time."

"Thanks," Edward said gratefully as Carlisle helped him up.

"Are you going to ride home with Bella?" Carlisle asked as we walked towards the exit.

Edward nodded. "If it's OK."

Carlisle chuckled. "Of course it's OK. Be careful and I'll see you at home."

"Do you want to drive?" I asked Edward as we got to my truck.

He shook his head. "No. I don't feel sick, but I don't want to take a chance on driving. I know you'll get me home in one piece."

As we drove to the Cullen house, Edward insisted that I tell him every detail of my day. One of the hardest things about his cancer was missing school, so he wanted to know everything that went on while he was gone.

We found Esme in the kitchen when we arrived at the house, and she was thrilled to see Edward looking well. "Oh sweetie, I'm so happy that you made out OK today. How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired, but otherwise I'm good," he replied. "I'm actually hungry."

Esme beamed. "We're having baked chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. I figured it would be easy on your stomach. Now go rest for a while and I'll call you when it's time to eat."

Edward led me up to his room. "I'm going to take a nap. Want to join me?"

"I'd love to, but I should really get my homework done," I told him sadly.

"That's cool. Just wake me up when it's time for dinner." He smiled and kissed me before settling in bed for his nap.

I made myself comfortable on the sofa in Edward's room and got started on my homework. I had just finished and was putting my books in my backpack when Alice came in. "Dinner's almost ready," she said, flopping on the sofa next to me. I put my head on her shoulder, and she put her arm around me. "You OK?"

"Yeah. I'm happy that Edward did well today." We sat quietly for a few minutes. "How are things between you and Jasper?"

"They're great. We finally had the sex discussion. I told him I wasn't ready yet, and he totally understood. He said he doesn't want to pressure me into anything I don't want to do. We've fooled around a little, but we haven't gone all the way." She paused. "What about you and Edward?"

"We haven't even fooled around," I admitted. "He's very self-conscious since he was diagnosed. I haven't even seen his central line. I touched it through his shirt one day, and he totally stiffened up and pulled away. I'm really worried about how he's going to be when he loses his hair."

"We'll get him through it," Alice assured me. "He's already overcome so much. Let's see if he can overcome this." She hopped off of the sofa and on to Edward's bed, where she began jumping. "Wake up, sleepyhead!"

Edward jumped up. "What the fuck?" he yelled as he grabbed a pillow and started swinging it. When he realized it was Alice, he hit her with the pillow. She fell on the bed, a giggling mess. "Damn it, Alice, are you trying to scare me to death?" A small smile played on his lips showing that he really wasn't angry.

Alice smiled innocently. "What? I just came in to tell you that dinner is almost ready."

Edward hit her in the head with the pillow. "At this rate I'll die of a heart attack instead of cancer. You should have let Bella wake me. At least she's pleasant."

"My way is more fun," Alice insisted.

I got up and sat next to Edward. He kissed me, which earned a grimace from Alice.

"Ewww gross!" she said and then laughed. "Dinner. Downstairs," she added as she got up and left us alone.

"She's so annoying," Edward said between kisses.

"Very annoying," I agreed.

"I just want to stay here with you all night, but, well, I'm really hungry," he admitted sheepishly.

I laughed as I took him by the hand and led him downstairs.

Edward had been serious when he said he was hungry. The Prednisone stimulated his appetite, which was a good thing since it helped him keep up his strength.

"Slow down, Edward. You look like Emmett eating," Carlisle chuckled.

"Dad, are you insulting me?" Emmett asked with his mouth full of food.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, close your mouth and stop acting like a Neanderthal!" Esme scolded.

"But, Ma! Dad's being mean!" whined Emmett.

"Emmett honey, you have no table manners. It's the one area of parenting where I've failed," Esme said gently. "It's very difficult watching you eat." Then she looked at Edward. "Edward, slow down. I don't need two Neanderthals at the table."

"Yes ma'am. I'm sorry," Edward apologized.

Carlisle and Alice were laughing, and I couldn't help but join in. Edward looked at me as if I'd hurt his feelings, but he quickly smiled to show he wasn't really upset.

"So, Edward," Carlisle began once everyone had calmed down, "you'll get your Neulasta shot tomorrow evening." Edward grimaced, and Carlisle continued. "I've done some research, and apparently taking Claritin the day of the injection alleviates many of the side effects."

"Claritin? Really?" Edward was surprised.

Carlisle nodded. "I'm not sure how, but people have had great success by taking it. I spoke with Dr. Denali, and she said it can't hurt to try it. Hopefully it'll work for you."

"I'm willing to try anything," Edward said. "I never want to experience that pain again."

Thankfully the Claritin worked and Edward didn't suffer the terrible side effects of the Neulasta. He bounced back quickly after the chemo and was able to return to school on Thursday.

On Friday morning, though, Edward called me in a panic. I had to talk to him for a couple of minutes before he calmed down enough to tell me what was wrong.

"I woke up this morning and there was a clump of hair on my pillow," he nearly whispered. "Everyone is going to know now."

"Edward, most people in Forks know about your cancer," I said.

"Yeah, but now I'm going to really look like a cancer patient. I don't want anyone to treat me differently."

"Has anyone treated you differently since your diagnosis?"

"No."

"Then I don't think they will now. I know you're self-conscious, but I doubt people will care about your lack of hair."

"Thanks, Bella," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "You always know how to make me feel better."

"It's part of my girlfriend duties," I reminded him. "So, are you going to school today?"

"Yeah. I'm going to ride with Emmett, so I'll see you there. I love you."

"I love you too," I said as we ended our call.

When I arrived at school, I parked next to Alice's bright yellow Mustang. I didn't see Emmett's Jeep, though. I made my way to our usual morning hangout spot and saw Alice, Jasper, and Nessie. "Where are Edward and Emmett?" I asked, becoming concerned.

Alice shook her head. "Emmett is probably trying to convince Edward that he doesn't need a toupee. He's so self-conscious about losing his hair."

"Hey, it's a pretty big deal," Jasper reminded her. "It's not just a vanity thing. Edward's already feeling like crap, so why not add insult to injury and have his hair fall out."

"I'm not trying to make fun of him," Alice insisted. "It's just that Edward worries so much. No one's really going to care if he's bald. He's still Edward."

I sighed. "I know, but we need to convince him of that. How can we let him know that losing his hair doesn't matter?"

The four of us sat in silence for a few minutes. Then a huge smile appeared on Alice's face. "I just thought of something. I know how we can help Edward with losing his hair." We leaned in as Alice excitedly told us about her plan. When she finished, we all agreed that it was an excellent idea.

Edward and Emmett arrived just as the first bell rang. "I was starting to get worried," I said, hugging Edward.

"I was afraid I had some huge bald spot on the back of my head," he replied with a frown. "And my scalp hurts. No one told me that losing my hair would be painful."

"You can't even tell that you've lost any hair," I insisted.

"I know, but when I was brushing it, a lot more came out. I guess I'm just going to have to shave it soon." He looked miserable.

"And I'll love you no matter what," I promised him.

I didn't see Edward again until lunch. He was smiling, which made me smile. All of our friends were in a good mood, which made sense since it was Friday and we were ready for the weekend. Everything was going well until Edward leaned back in his chair and ran his hand through his hair. He looked horrified as he held a clump of his hair in his hand. Emmett was at Edward's side instantly.

"It's OK," Emmett assured him. "It's just hair."

"B-but it's m-my hair," Edward stammered.

"No one likes you because of your luscious locks. We like you for your sparkling personality," Emmett told him.

Edward looked at his cousin as if he had lost his mind. "Emmett, what are you talking about?"

Emmett seemed exasperated. "I try to point out your best features and you think I'm crazy. It's hair, Edward. It'll grow back." He picked up a napkin from the table and used it to take the hair out of Edward's hand. He then balled up the napkin and tossed it on the table. "No one here cares about your hair. We care about you. If your hair falls out so you can get better then so be it." Edward opened his mouth to speak, but Emmett stopped him. "Don't argue with me. You know I'm right."

"I know you are, but you're not the one going through this," Edward replied. "You're not the one going through chemo and feeling like crap. You're not the one who can barely make it through the school day because you're so tired. The hair loss is just the fly on the steaming pile of shit that is my life." He paused and looked around the table. "At least I have all of you on my team. That does make it more bearable." His smile was back, and he was much calmer.

Unfortunately, Edward's hair continued to fall out. On a more positive note, news of Alice's plan spread like wildfire. We were completely overwhelmed by the support. Everything was set for this coming Saturday.

Alice and I were heading to lunch on Wednesday when I heard someone calling my name. I turned around to see Nessie running down the hall, her red hair trailing behind her like a flame. "Bella!" she called out as the pushed past people in the hallway. She was breathless by the time she reached us.

"Ness, what's wrong?" I asked, becoming very worried.

"Edward just got sick in class," she panted.

I felt as if the blood had rushed out of me. "Sick? What happened?"

Nessie had finally caught her breath. "We were packing up at the end of class when he doubled over in pain. He got really bad stomach cramps and could hardly stand up. Ben walked him to the office."

"I need to get down there. Thanks, Nessie!" I called over my shoulder as I ran to the office. Alice was right on my heels.

Mrs. Cope met Alice and me at the counter when we arrived in the office. "Edward's in Ms. Feasel's office. You can go right on in."

Alice and I exchanged worried looks. Ms. Feasel was the principal, so I didn't think it could be good if Edward was in there.

We dashed into the principal's office and found Edward curled up on the sofa in there. His eyes were closed, but his face was contorted in a grimace. Ben was sitting on the floor next to the sofa but got up when he saw Alice and me.

"Ben, what happened?" I asked frantically.

Ben shook his head. "I don't know. We were waiting for the bell to ring, and me, him, and Ness were talking. All of a sudden he grabbed his stomach and doubled over like someone hit him. I feel bad because I pretty much dragged him to the office. He could hardly stand. I hope he's not mad at me."

Alice smiled gently. "I'm sure he's not mad. You did what you had to do."

As Alice and Ben talked, I rushed to Edward's side and knelt down. "Edward, I'm here."

He didn't even open his eyes. "It hurts."

"Are you nauseated?" I asked, taking his hand.

"No. It's a really bad cramp. I've never had anything like it."

"Edward, your aunt is on her way." I looked up and saw Ms. Feasel sitting on the arm of the sofa. "Can I get you anything for now?"

"No thank you," he replied quietly. "I just want it to stop."

Ms. Feasel stood up. "Bella, Ben, Alice, you may stay here until Edward leaves. I'll have Mrs. Cope write each of you a pass allowing you to go to 5th period late so you'll have time to eat lunch. Right now it's more important that you're here with Edward. Just yell if you need anything." She smiled and left the office.

Ben, Alice, and I talked to Edward as we tried to make him feel better. He finally opened his eyes, and his face relaxed a bit, but he was obviously still uncomfortable.

Esme flew into the office a few minutes later. "Edward! My poor baby!" she cried. "We're going to the emergency room. Carlisle and Dr. Denali are waiting for us."

"OK," Edward replied weakly. "Ben, can you help me?"

Ben helped Edward up into a seated position before helping him stand. Edward leaned on Ben as they walked out of the office.

"I'll keep you posted," Esme said, hugging Alice and then me. "Just pray that it's nothing serious."

Alice and I got our passes from Mrs. Cope and made our way to the cafeteria. I didn't have much of an appetite, but Alice insisted we eat something. Lunch was nearly over, so Alice quickly updated our friends on what had happened. We didn't linger around too long after the bell and made it to class without being too late.

As soon as the 2:30 bell rang, I rushed to my truck and pulled out my phone. I had a voice mail from Esme. I listened to it nervously.

"Hi, Bella. It's 2:00, and we're still in the ER. Edward had an abdominal ultrasound, which ruled out any blockages. Dr. Denali drew some blood, and we're waiting for the results. We're also waiting for CT scan results to see if there are any tumors. The nurse gave him something for the pain, and he's been knocked out ever since. I have a feeling we're going to be here for a while. I'll let you know as soon as I get any results."

I didn't even hesitate. I drove straight to the hospital. I needed to be with Edward.

"Excuse me," I said as I approached the information desk in the ER. "I'm here to see Edward Masen."

"Are you family?" the woman at the desk asked.

"I'm his girlfriend," I replied.

The woman gestured to the waiting area. "Have a seat please. I'll see if I can get you in."

I sat in the waiting room for a few minutes until Esme came out through a set of double doors. I rushed to her.

Esme hugged me tightly and then led me back through the doors. "No news since I left you that message. Carlisle is trying to rush up the test results so we aren't here all night."

We went into the room where Edward was. He was sound asleep. He was in a hospital gown, and an IV was hooked up to his central line. My heart broke every time I saw him like that. Esme and I sat and talked quietly until Carlisle came in.

"Dr. Denali is on her way down with the test results," he told us. Then he gently woke Edward.

"What's going on?" Edward asked, still very groggy.

Carlisle sat on the edge of the bed. "I hated to wake you, but Dr. Denali is on her way down. I figured you'd want to hear what she had to say."

Dr. Denali entered the room. "How are you feeling, Edward?" She was smiling, which put me at ease.

"Still hurting but not as bad. I'm in a fog," Edward replied quietly.

"Pain meds will definitely make you feel foggy," Dr. Denali said, "but I have news that will make you feel better." She paused a moment and smiled again. "Your CT was fine. No tumors."

Esme let out the breath she had been holding, and Carlisle visibly relaxed. Tears of happiness welled up in my eyes. The cancer hadn't spread.

Dr. Denali continued. "Your blood tests looked good as well. You are slightly anemic, so we'll monitor that for now. Edward, have you had any pain, numbness, or tingling in your hands and feet?"

Edward looked confused. "My foot falls asleep sometimes, but what does that have to do with my stomach pain?"

"Your stomach cramps were caused by a condition called peripheral neuropathy," Dr. Denali explained. "It affects the nerves and causes numbness and sometimes sharp pain. It's most common in diabetics, but it's also a side effect of some chemo drugs."

Edward groaned. "Is there any way to treat it?"

"Yes. I'm going to write you a prescription for Lyrica," Dr. Denali replied. "It will lessen the effects of the neuropathy and won't interfere with your other meds."

"Lessen? You mean this won't go away completely?" Edward asked, becoming exasperated.

"Not while you're on the chemo," Dr. Denali told him. "Hopefully it will go away completely when you're finished treatment."

"Hopefully? What do you mean hopefully?" Edward was angry.

Carlisle placed his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Calm down, Edward."

Edward interrupted his uncle. "I don't want to calm down! First off, I'm only 16 and I have cancer. Then you give me poison to stop it. Now my hair is falling out, I live tired, and I might have permanent nerve damage. Yeah, forgive me if I don't feel all that calm right now." The expression on his face was one of frustration and anger, and his eyes were filling with tears.

Carlisle wasn't deterred. He sat next to Edward on the bed. "Edward, I am so sorry. I would take it all away if I could. I hate seeing you suffer. I wish you were at baseball practice right now instead of being stuck here. It's hard being a doctor and not being able to help you. I know how strong you are, though. I know you've got a lot of fight in you. Don't get upset. Fight it. The cancer only wins if you let it."

Edward nodded tearfully as he fell into his uncle's arms. He looked fragile as Carlisle hugged him tightly.

"Are you OK?" Carlisle eventually asked.

"I will be," Edward said as he sat up. "I'm sorry I acted out like that."

Dr. Denali spoke up. "You don't have to be sorry. Sometimes you need to let it out. I do know something that will make you feel better, though. Are you ready for me to spring you from this place?"

"Yes please," Edward replied eagerly. We all laughed at him.

"I figured as much. Let me get your discharge papers and prescription so you can go home." Dr. Denali smiled and left the room.

Esme and I also stepped out so that Edward could get dressed. She hugged me as soon as we were out of the room. "Thank goodness it hasn't spread," she said. "I was so scared." I could see the tears in Esme's eyes, and I blinked back a few tears of my own.

"Me too," I admitted. "It was pretty scary."

Esme excused herself after a minute so she could call Emmett and Alice with the news. I waited in the hallway until Carlisle stuck his head out and told me I could come back inside.

Edward was sitting on the side of the bed, dressed in his own clothes again. He held his arms open for me, and I eagerly fell into his embrace. "I'm sorry I scared you," he said.

I pulled back and playfully swatted his arm. "Don't do it again," I teased.

"I know you want to come to the house and be with me, but all I want to do when I get home is go to bed," Edward said. "Please don't be mad at me."

I really did want to be with Edward, but I understood. "Yeah, you're really no fun when you're asleep. I'll come by tomorrow when you're actually alert."

Edward kissed me chastely since his uncle was in the room and then promised to let me know when he was home.

Edward stayed home from school on Thursday and Friday. His absence gave Alice an opportunity to finalize her grand plan. We were all very excited about the support we had received from everyone at Forks High.

Our whole gang arrived at the Cullen house about noon on Saturday. Esme was waiting for us. "I should tell you that Edward isn't in a very good mood," she warned us. "His hands are really bothering him today. They're alternating between pain and tingling."

Alice wasn't deterred. "He'll be fine when he sees what we've done."

Everyone moved into the den as Esme went upstairs to get Edward. She came down laughing a few minutes later as we heard Edward grumbling behind her. He stopped in his tracks, though, when he saw everyone gathered.

"What's going on?" he asked, obviously shocked. "Where's everyone's hair?"

"Surprise!" Alice yelled excitedly.

To help Edward feel better about losing his hair, the guys had shaved their heads. Emmett, Jasper, Ben, and even Carlisle had gone completely bald.

Alice explained. "I figured that if the guys were all bald, you wouldn't feel so self-conscious about losing your hair. The guys here aren't the only ones. The whole Forks High baseball team and about half of the guys in the junior class shaved their heads."

Edward was glued to his spot on the stairs, still shocked. "But _your_ hair. What did you do?"

"We girls cut our hair and donated it to Locks of Love. We want to help those girls out there who have lost their hair to cancer," Alice said.

Rose, Angela, Nessie, and I had each had our hair cut into a long bob. Alice, however, took it to the extreme. Her long black hair, which had been down to the middle of her back, was now a buzzcut.

"You did this for me?" Edward was still in complete disbelief.

Emmett spoke up. "If you lose your hair, then we all lose our hair. It's all part of being on Team Edward."

Edward finally moved from his spot on the stairs and came down to join us. We took turns hugging him as lots of tears flowed.

Esme hugged him last. "I haven't cut my hair yet since I was with you all morning. I'll do it next week."

"No. Please don't," Edward pleaded. Esme was confused, but Edward continued. "You and my mom look so much alike. She always wore her hair similar to yours. It's just something familiar that reminds me of her. Please don't cut it."

Esme nodded. "Of course. I'll keep it."

Edward let out a big sigh. "I guess it's my turn now."

"You don't have to do it now if you're not ready," Carlisle assured him.

Edward shook his head. "It's time. I won't have to deal with it falling out anymore. Do you know how much that shit hurts? My scalp is all irritated. Besides, I don't want to be the only guy with hair." He laughed a bit then paused and became serous. "I don't want an audience, though. Carlisle, can you do it here?"

Carlisle nodded. "I've got clippers. We can go up to your bathroom and do it there."

Edward looked relieved. "Thanks," he smiled. "Bella, will you come up too?"

"Of course." I couldn't deny him anything.

"Don't go anywhere," Edward told our friends. "I want to go to the diner to celebrate when it's done."

Jasper spoke up. "We don't have to go anywhere. You don't have to go out if you're uncomfortable or not feeling well."

"I'm fine," Edward replied. "My hands are bothering me, but otherwise I feel fine. Besides, we have to show off our new looks." Then he took me by the hand and led me upstairs. "Let's do this."

Once in the bathroom, Edward grabbed a towel from the closet and wrapped it around his shoulders. He lowered the lid of the toilet and sat down as Carlisle came in.

"Are you sure about this?" Carlisle asked.

"Absolutely. It'll be one less thing to stress about," Edward said.

Carlisle picked up the clippers and began. Edward tensed up at first, but he soon relaxed. I sat on the edge of the tub and watched sadly as Edward's beautiful hair fell to the floor. None of us spoke the entire time.

Before long, Carlisle was finished. "All done. Are you ready to see it?"

Edward slowly stood up and walked to the mirror. He stared for a minute before touching his now bald head. "Does my head look funny?"

"You look great," I told him honestly as I got up and stood next to him. "Your head isn't funny looking at all."

"Thanks," he said, kissing me. Then I motioned for him to lean over. He was confused, but he did it. I kissed the top of his bald head to show him that I didn't care whether or not he had hair. He stood up and gave me a huge smile. He then turned to Carlisle. "Thank you, Carlisle."

"You are very welcome," Carlisle replied, hugging Edward. "Now scram. You've got some celebrating to do."

"But what about all of this hair on the floor? I need to sweep it," Edward insisted.

Carlisle shook his head. "I'll get it in a bit. Go. Have some fun. You deserve it."

Edward smiled, took me by the hand, and led me out of the bathroom. Today had the potential to be rough, but Edward handled a tough situation gracefully. Once again he didn't let the cancer rule him. It was moments like that where I fell in love with him even more.


	10. Chapter 10--Helium

**Finally! I have this beast of a chapter done! I'm sorry it took so long, but I had a little trouble with this one. Thanks as always to my best friend and beta BittenEV and special thanks to my dear friend Tufano79 for helping me with this chapter. If you haven't read any of Tufano's stories, what are you waiting for?**

 **Thanks also to Random Rita at the Rob Attack blog for recommending Iris and to all of the new readers who have joined me. Y'all make me feel all warm and fuzzy!**

 **The song for this chapter is "Helium" by Sia. It's a beautiful song from the _Fifty Shades Darker_ soundtrack and quite appropriate for this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Belongs to SM.**

 **Chapter 10—Helium**

It was an ugly, rainy Sunday in Forks, so Edward and I were having our pre-chemo picnic in his bedroom. We were sitting on the floor leaning against the sofa in the room as we took turns feeding each other. We got a little messy, which made us laugh a lot. Edward was relaxed and having fun, which in turn made me happy.

"You've got something on your face. Let me get it," Edward said innocently as he kissed me right next to my lips. "Oh wait, I think you have something on your lips too," he added as he kissed me there.

I giggled as he kissed me. "You're pretty slick, you know."

Edward feigned innocence. "What? I just didn't want anyone to see you with food on your face."

"Mmm hmmm. Sure." Suddenly I felt bold. "I think you have something on your mouth. Let me get it." I threw my arms around him and kissed him deeply. Edward was surprised at first, but he then relaxed as we made out like the horny teenagers we were. His hands began to roam and soon found my breasts. I groaned in pleasure as he explored them, even if it was over my shirt. My hands began to roam as well, but Edward stiffened and sat back as I touched the central line in his chest.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, knowing full well what was wrong. I just wanted to know why it was such a problem.

"You wouldn't understand," he replied, turning away from me.

"Then explain!" I said in exasperation.

Edward was equally as exasperated. "I have this stupid wire hanging out of my chest so I can have poison injected into my veins! Is that what you want to hear?"

"Yes!" I nearly shouted. "I don't know why you're so embarrassed about it. You've never even let me see it. It's not a big deal. You say it's there to inject poison, but to me it's where you get the chemo that's saving your life!"

He looked stunned for a moment. "Really?" he whispered.

"Yes really," I said. "I hate when you refer to your chemo as poison. I know it's changing your body, but it's what's keeping you alive. If it weren't for that chemo, you might be dead. Is that what _you_ want to hear?"

Edward shook his head. "I'm sorry. I never thought of it that way. I never knew it upset you so much."

"It does. I need you here with me, Edward. You're nearly halfway through with your chemo. This is temporary. You and I are forever. You're stuck with me." I smiled to let him know I truly wasn't angry with him.

Edward smiled as well. "If I have to be stuck with someone, I'm glad it's you." He gave me a quick chaste kiss on the lips before slowly removing his shirt. "Here it is," he said finally as he looked down.

Edward's pale, beautiful chest was perfect, even with the port in it. The central line was on the right side of his chest. A wire came out from underneath and had two ports hanging from it. The wire was adhered to his chest with clear tape. I leaned in and kissed the area where the wire came out of his chest. He looked up in surprise.

"Thank you," he said, tears beginning to well up in his gorgeous green eyes.

"You're perfect," I told him. "Your skin is like marble."

He laughed. "I didn't have much chest hair to start with, but what I had is gone. All of my hair is gone. The bright side is I don't have to shave anymore."

"I miss your stubble, though," I said sadly. It was true. I liked the way it tickled my face when he kissed me. Unlike some people who only lost the hair on their head, Edward lost his hair everywhere. The hair on his arms and legs fell out shortly after he shaved his head. He also lost his eyebrows and his long, beautiful eyelashes. Alice had even called me one night saying that Edward had freaked out because he had taken a shower and the hair around his manly bits was falling out. He had no idea that I knew, and I'd never tell him.

"Dr. Denali said it should start growing back right after I finish chemo," Edward said. "Maybe then I'll grow a long beard."

"I don't think school will allow it," I laughed.

"Maybe they'll make an exception for me, you know, be nice to the cancer kid and all," he replied. "Instead of going to Disneyworld, that could be my Make a Wish thing. A long beard." I laughed even harder. He began to laugh as well, and soon we were a silly, giggling mess.

I only hoped we'd be laughing the next day when Edward actually went in for his chemo. Like the last time, he was going alone, but I would meet him at the hospital after school. He was much calmer than he was the last time since he knew what to expect.

I headed straight to the hospital's cancer center after school. I was met by Victoria, who was Edward's nurse once again, and she filled me in as she led me to Edward.

"He had a bit of a reaction to the Rituxan this time, which is odd during the third round of treatment," she said. "He developed a rash and a low grade fever. I stopped the drip and gave him some Tylenol and Benadryl. Dr. Denali came down to check on him, but thankfully it didn't last long. He's been fine ever since. He also had a dose of Reglan before the drip, so he hasn't had any nausea. I'll be back in a few minutes, but please use the call button if anything happens before then."

Edward was sound asleep, curled up under the crocheted blanket I had seen him with during his first two treatments. Although I was eager to talk to him, I decided not to wake him. I knew he needed to rest. He woke up a few minutes later when Victoria came in with his next chemo drug.

"Bella! Why did you let me sleep?" he pouted.

"You need your rest. We have plenty of time to talk later," I insisted.

Edward then looked up at Victoria. "I see it's time for the red devil."

Victoria sighed. "Unfortunately it is."

I was confused. "Why do you call it red devil?"

"The drug itself is red, but one of its side effects is that it turns the urine red," Victoria explained. "Also, it will irritate the heck out of you if it leaks from the vein. Thankfully the chances of that happening are slim and none since it's going straight into the IV. Are you ready, Edward?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," he muttered.

Edward and I were quiet as Victoria began the IV push. It took several minutes, and she spoke softly and soothingly as she injected the drug. Edward seemed relaxed as he held my hand and smiled at me.

"All done!" Victoria said brightly a few minutes later. "I'll give you a little time to relax and then I'll be in shortly with your last one. Remember to call me if you need me." She then left us alone.

I fingered the edge of the blanket that was covering Edward. "Why do you always bring this to your treatments?"

Edward smiled wistfully. "My mom made it. It was always on the back of our sofa as far back as I can remember. She probably crocheted it before I was born. We stayed at my house when we went back to Chicago for my parents' funeral. I grabbed it when I was there. It's just a little something that reminds me of home and my parents."

"What happened to your house in Chicago?" I asked gently.

"It's mine, or it will be when I turn 18," he replied. "I don't know what to do with it. I've thought about selling it, but I can't bring myself to do that yet. Some family friends are living in it right now, and they're taking good care of it. Maybe I'll eventually sell it to them. I just don't know."

"Do you want to move back to Chicago?" I knew I'd go to the ends of the earth for Edward, but I wanted to know how he felt.

"At first that's all I wanted. I planned to get through high school here in Forks and go back to Chicago for college. That's all changed, though."

"Changed? Why?"

"Now I want to be wherever you are," he said, smiling and taking my hand.

I was shocked. "Edward, I don't want you to change your plans just because of me."

"It's what I want," he insisted. "You brought me back to life, and I can't imagine going anywhere without you. We can stay here in Washington, go to Chicago, or even move to Antarctica to live with the penguins."

"Penguins. Lovely," I chuckled.

Edward laughed as well. "I'm serious. We're a team. Besides, you promised me we'd set off metal detectors together with our titanium hips when we get old. You can't go back on that promise."

I laughed even harder. "I wouldn't even dream of it."

Victoria came in shortly thereafter to administer Edward's last chemo drug. After a brief observation period, he was allowed to go home. We got back to the Cullens' a little later than expected because of Edward's reaction to the Rituxan, so we arrived just in time for dinner. Edward was exhausted, though, and went straight to bed after he ate.

Edward's exhaustion continued throughout the week. It was so bad that he barely made it through the school day. Some days he was so tired that he'd go straight to bed after school and skip dinner. The medication he was now taking for the neuropathy didn't seem to be helping much. He still had problems with his hands and feet. They would alternate between numbness and tingling to pain and burning. I tried to help him as best I could by massaging his hands and feet when they bothered him. It didn't help much, but he was grateful all the same.

I was doing laundry Sunday morning when my phone rang. The caller ID said it was Emmett, and I became worried. Emmett wouldn't have called early on a Sunday unless something was wrong. "Hello?"

"Bells, did I wake you?" he asked breathlessly.

"No, Em, I'm up. What's wrong?"

"I'm taking Edward to the ER. He had an accident."

I felt as though all of the blood had rushed out of me. "An accident? What kind of accident? Is he OK?"

"He tripped going down the stairs and completely wiped out," Emmett explained. "Ed here insists he's OK, but I wasn't taking any chances. Dad's working today, so I called him and he said to come on in to be checked out."

I was already running upstairs to change out of my pajamas. "I'll meet you at the hospital," I told Emmett before hanging up. I got dressed as quickly as I could and headed out to the hospital. Charlie was fishing in LaPush, so I sent him a quick text to let him know what was happening.

Emmett was by himself in the ER waiting room when I arrived. "What's going on? Where's Edward?" I asked.

"He's having a few tests run, and they wouldn't let me go with him," Emmett said. "Dad said they needed to do a chest x-ray and perhaps a CT scan. I think they're also going to draw blood." He paused for a moment. "Mom and Alice are at church, so Edward and I were home alone. I was scared, Bells. I was in my room, and I heard this thud and then Edward calling out for me. I didn't know what happened. He fell on his left side, and I can tell he's in a lot of pain even though he insists he's not. I just hope he's OK."

Emmett and I made small talk while we waited for news. Finally after what seemed like forever, Carlisle came out into the waiting room. "Is he OK?" Emmett blurted, jumping out of his chair.

Carlisle motioned for us to follow him. "Edward's got several broken ribs on his left side, and he's pretty bruised up," he explained as he led us to Edward. "He also complained of shortness of breath. There's always the possibility of a punctured lung with a rib injury. Right now he's on supplemental oxygen until we know what's what. I'm also waiting on some blood tests." Carlisle stopped in front of a room and opened the door. "He's been given something for pain, so he may fall asleep while you're here."

I ran to Edward's side. He was still awake but looked miserable. An IV ran under his hospital gown, obviously connected to the central line in his chest, and he had the oxygen tube in his nose. He smiled weakly when he saw me.

"Oh Edward," I nearly sobbed. "What happened?"

"I was going downstairs to get something to drink. I was really tired and dizzy, and my feet went numb. I just lost my balance and fell."

"You should have called me," Emmett gently chastised. "I'd have gotten you something."

"No. I should be able to go downstairs by myself," Edward protested.

Carlisle's phone rang. "It's Esme," he told us. "I'm just going to step out in the hallway and talk to her. She's probably a nervous wreck."

Edward began tugging on the side of his gown. "It looks terrible," he said.

"What does?" I asked him. He kept tugging on the gown, so I gently pulled it up. I gasped loudly when I did. The entire left side of Edward's chest was bruised. It hurt me just to look at it, so I couldn't even imagine how he felt.

"Holy crap!" Emmett exclaimed. "Is this from falling, the cancer, or both?"

"Both," Edward replied sleepily. "I always get bruises."

"Go to sleep," I said, pulling his gown down and covering him with a blanket that was at the foot of the bed. I then kissed his forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Carlisle came back into the room. "Esme and Alice are on their way. I'm going to wait for them outside."

"Good idea. I'll go with you," Emmett said. "I know how Mom gets when she's anxious. We don't need her and Alice in here like yappy dogs while Ed's trying to sleep."

Carlisle shook his head and laughed. "True. Bella, we'll be right back. Just press the call button if you need anything." He and Emmett left the room.

"I'm sorry," Edward nearly slurred. The pain medication was obviously taking effect.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked him.

"I didn't mean to make everyone worry about me. I'll be OK." His eyes were half closed.

"We'll always worry about you, cancer or not. Now get some rest. I love you." I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Love you too," he managed to say before drifting off to sleep.

I was alone with Edward for a few more minutes before Carlisle and Emmett came back with Esme and Alice. I could see that Esme was frantic with worry as she rushed to Edward's bedside. Carlisle was carrying a chart.

"I just got the results of Edward's blood tests. He is severely anemic. That's probably why he felt dizzy and short of breath," Carlisle explained.

"How serious is that?" Esme asked worriedly.

Carlisle sighed. "It's pretty serious. When the hemoglobin level drops below 12, a person is considered anemic. Edward's is five. I need to call Dr. Denali and see how she wants to treat him. It's important that we get his iron up and fast so we don't have to delay any of his chemo treatments. He'll also feel a lot better once it's back to normal. I'm going to call Dr. Denali. I'll be right back. Let Edward sleep. He needs his rest."

"Why do these things keep happening to him?" Esme wondered sadly as Carlisle left the room. "I don't know how much more he can take. He's only 16. He shouldn't be carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders."

Emmett nodded. "Even the strongest people have a breaking point. I think Edward's been to his too many times in the last year. It's not fair."

"You're right. It isn't fair," Esme agreed. "He should be playing baseball, going on dates with Bella…" Esme stopped as she began to cry.

"It's OK, Mom," Alice assured her as she hugged Esme. "Edward's going to get better. He's got too many people pulling for him. Besides, I don't think God is cruel enough to take Aunt Liz and Uncle Ed _and_ Edward as well. We're going to have him around for a long time."

"I hope so, dear. I hope you're right. I can't lose anyone else." Esme continued to cry as Alice comforted her.

Emmett put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side. "How are you, Bells?"

"I'm scared, Em," I admitted. "My heart breaks every time I see him like this. He keeps bouncing back, but what if he doesn't this time or the next time? I can't be without him, Emmett. I need him." Now I was crying. Emmett pulled me into a big bear hug to comfort me.

"Who died?" We all looked up and saw Edward awake. "Why is everyone crying?"

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry," Esme apologized. "We're just worried about you."

Edward was still loopy from his pain medication, but he looked a little scared as well. "Why? What's wrong with me? Am I going to be OK?"

Alice sat on the edge of the bed to explain. "Dad is on the phone with Dr. Denali. Apparently you're severely anemic, which is why you've been feeling like crap."

"But will I be OK?" Edward asked, still looking scared.

"I'm sure you will be," Alice replied gently. "We're just waiting for Dad to talk to Dr. Denali to see how she wants to treat you."

Edward was becoming slightly agitated. "But will I be OK?" he repeated. "I need to know."

Thankfully Carlisle entered the room then. "What's wrong, Edward? " he asked, rushing over to the bed.

"Carlisle. Please tell me I'm going to be OK. Am I?" Edward was a nervous wreck.

"Calm down," Carlisle replied soothingly. "You are going to be fine. Dr. Denali is on her way over. We're going to get this taken care of. You'll be home and feeling better in no time." Edward began to relax a little. "How are you feeling? Are you still in pain?" Carlisle asked him.

Edward nodded. "It hurts so bad. Can't move and can't breathe."

"You need to take deep breaths," Carlisle told him. "If not you could end up with pneumonia. I know it hurts, but you have to try."

Dr. Denali entered the room just then. Dressed in a sweater and jeans with her hair in a ponytail, she looked more like a college student than a well-respected oncologist. "Edward! What happened?"

"I fell," he said softly. "I got dizzy, I couldn't feel my feet, and I fell."

We all stepped back from the bed as Dr. Denali did a quick check of Edward's vitals. She then looked over the chart that Carlisle had handed her and frowned. "Edward, how long have you been feeling poorly? When did the dizziness and shortness of breath begin?"

Edward thought for a minute. "A few days I guess."

Dr. Denali frowned again. "Edward, your hemoglobin level is at a five. That's dangerously low. It's actually life-threatening. You aren't getting enough oxygen in your blood. That's why you're having trouble breathing. A few more days and your organs would have begun to shut down."

Edward's bottom lip began to quiver. "I just thought I was feeling bad from the chemo. I didn't know it was that serious." A few tears fell down his cheeks.

Dr. Denali sat next to Edward on the bed and took his hand. "I didn't say those things to upset you, Edward. You need to let Carlisle or me know when you're feeling that poorly. Sometimes it is normal, but sometimes it's not. Thankfully we can treat this. I'm admitting you. You're going to need a blood transfusion to get those hemoglobin levels up. This is the quickest way to treat it, and we need quick right now. It's also a good idea to have you here for pain management. I'm pretty sure you're really hurting right now."

"How long will I be here?" Edward asked softly.

"At least two or three days," Dr. Denali replied. "It all depends on how everything goes with the transfusion. I'm going to be monitoring you closely to make sure your iron levels go up." She then got up and turned to Carlisle. "I'm going to go ahead and get him admitted and then cross and type so we can get the transfusion started. We need to get rolling on this."

Carlisle nodded. "Absolutely. Thanks, Tanya. Sorry this had to happen on a Sunday."

Dr. Denali smiled. "Hey, things happen, even on a weekend. Getting Edward better is our number one priority any day of the week. I will be back very shortly. Edward, get some rest and hopefully we'll be moving you up to a room before too long." She then left the room.

"You won't be allowed in the room while we're getting the transfusion set up, so why don't you go and get some lunch," Carlisle suggested to the rest of us. "It's been a long morning, and I'm sure you could use a break."

Esme shook her head and looked angry. "What do you mean I can't be in the room? Someone needs to be there to hold Edward's hand. His mother isn't here, so I need to be with him. Don't tell me I can't be there."

"Esme darling, I know you want to be with him, but you just can't right now. You can go in once everything is started. He'll be fine," Carlisle told her soothingly.

"No! You don't understand! He's not just my nephew. He's one of my children. He needs me! You _will_ let me in that room!" Esme was no longer just angry; she was pissed off.

Carlisle was becoming exasperated. "Esme, I do understand. I also love Edward like my son. I'll be with him. Dr. Gerandy can handle things here in the ER for a bit while I'm with Edward. He won't be alone. I promise."

"Can you promise me he'll be OK? Can you?" Esme was still pissed and getting louder.

"I promise," Carlisle replied, hugging her tightly. "He's going to be just fine."

I looked over at Edward and saw that he was upset. Alice noticed as well, and we both rushed to his bedside.

"Please stop," Edward pleaded. "Just stop. I don't want you to fight. Just please stop."

I took Edward's hand and leaned over to kiss his cheek, but he only relaxed slightly. He managed to pull my hand to his lips and kiss it softly.

Esme had calmed down a bit, and she moved to Edward's side. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I'm scared too. I just can't lose you. I need you home with us."

"Just please don't yell or fight," Edward pleaded again. "I need you right now."

Carlisle cleared his throat. "OK, why don't you go ahead and eat. I'll call you as soon as Edward's settled in his room."

We all reluctantly agreed and told Edward goodbye. We decided to eat in the hospital cafeteria just in case something happened with Edward. None of us wanted to be too far away from him. Emmett was the only one who was really hungry. The rest of us only ate a little bit and mostly picked at our food. We had just finished eating when Carlisle texted Esme.

"Oh hell no!" Esme nearly yelled.

"What's wrong, Mom?" Emmett asked worriedly.

Esme was pissed again. "Edward is in ICU! Carlisle didn't say anything about ICU. I need to know what the hell is going on." She marched out of the cafeteria, and the rest of us practically had to run to keep up with her.

Esme softened, though, when Carlisle met us at the door of Edward's room. He looked upset. "Edward had a pretty serious panic attack as we were setting up the transfusion, and he had to be sedated."

"I need to be in there," Esme insisted as she tried to push past Carlisle.

Carlisle stopped her. "Just a minute. Edward will probably be out for a while, but when he wakes up, all of you need to remain calm. He's very sick right now, and he's scared. He's also in a lot of pain. You cannot get him upset."

"Why is he in ICU?" demanded Esme.

"As I said, Edward is very sick. He needs to be monitored closely," Carlisle explained. "His anemia is life threatening. If the transfusion doesn't work, I don't know what we're going to do."

Esme teared up. "I need to be in there. Let me be in there with my Edward."

Carlisle stepped aside so we could go in the room. Edward looked so frail. The transfusion was hooked up to his central line, he still had the oxygen tube in his nose, and he was connected to several monitors. I let out a small cry.

Emmett put his arm around me. "It's OK, Bells. I know. This is hard for me too."

Esme walked up to the bed and took Edward's hand. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I'm so sorry this is happening. Don't worry, though. We're going to get you better soon, and you'll be home in no time. I promise. You're going to be fine. I love you, sweetie."

Emmett kept his arm around me protectively as I moved to the other side of Edward's bed. "I love you, Edward. Please get better. I need you here with me. You can't leave me yet." Emmett tightened his hold on me as I began to cry.

"He's not going anywhere," Emmett assured me. "He's gonna kick cancer's ass, or else I'm gonna kick his ass."

We all laughed a little at that last remark, which lightened the mood in the room a bit. Thank goodness for Emmett. He always knew the right thing to say.

"I need to head back to work, but I'll check in a little later," Carlisle said. "Remember what I said about not upsetting Edward. If he wakes up, you need to be positive." He gave Edward's hand a quick squeeze and kissed Esme on the cheek before leaving.

"Alice, Emmett, would you mind going home to pack a bag for Edward?" Esme asked. "If he's going to be here a few days I know he's going to want some of his things. Don't forget his phone and his blanket."

Emmett and Alice left, and Esme and I were alone with Edward. We talked quietly, not wanting to wake him. His nurse came in a few times to check the progress of his transfusion, but he slept through everything. It wasn't until the transfusion was complete and Dr. Denali had come in to check on him that he woke.

"What's going on?" Edward asked softly, looking confused. "Where am I?"

Dr. Denali smiled at him. "You're in ICU, Edward. We just finished the transfusion. How are you feeling?"

"Everything hurts," he grimaced.

"I can get you something for pain," Dr. Denali told him. "In the meantime, you have to take deep breaths. It hurts, I know, but you have to breathe deeply to keep your lungs clear. Your immune system can't handle you getting pneumonia right now."

"I can't. It hurts too much," Edward protested as a tear rolled down his cheek.

I spoke up. "You can. You can do this, Edward. You've met every challenge head on so far, and I know you can do this. I know you're in pain, but you have to do this. I need you, Edward. You're going to get better."

I was shocked at myself. I had no idea where that burst of strength had come from. It was all true, though. I needed Edward. I needed him to get better. I looked up and saw both Esme and Dr. Denali smiling at me.

"Bella is right," Dr. Denali said. "You're strong, Edward. You're going to fight this the same way you've fought every other setback. Got it?" she added with a laugh. Edward nodded, too tired to speak. "I'll have the nurse give you some more pain meds," she continued. "Right now you need to rest and get your strength up. Tomorrow morning we'll draw some blood to see if the transfusion is working. I'll check in on you a little later."

Dr. Denali left, and a few minutes later a nurse came in to give Edward his pain medication. He drifted off to sleep again pretty quickly.

Alice and Emmett returned a short time later. Edward continued to sleep, so the four of us spent the afternoon talking quietly.

Carlisle came up later in the evening. "Everyone is going to have to leave soon. Visitors aren't allowed between six and eight o'clock because of the shift change in ICU. I'm going to spend the night here with Edward just in case he needs me."

"Carlisle, you just worked a 12 hour shift. I know you're tired. Let me stay," Esme insisted.

"I'm fine," Carlisle assured her. "Things were actually pretty slow except for some kid who came in with broken ribs and anemia," he added with a chuckle.

"Are you sure? You know I don't mind." Like me, Esme hated to leave Edward when he wasn't feeling well.

"I'm positive. I'm off tomorrow, so you can come up here in the morning, and I'll go home then. Everything will be OK." Carlisle spoke gently but firmly, leaving little room for argument.

We were all hesitant to leave, but we knew Edward would be in good hands with Carlisle and the excellent nursing staff in the ICU. There wasn't much any of us could do, though, so we reluctantly went home.

Charlie was at the kitchen table eating leftovers when I got home. "How's Edward?"

Any bursts of strength I had were gone as I broke down. "Oh Dad, it's awful. He's on oxygen, and he's hooked up to all of these monitors. I'm so scared."

"I know you're scared, but this is Edward. I'm sure he'll be fine," Charlie said.

I completely lost it. "Fine?! He's not fine! You didn't see him! He's in ICU! His condition is life threatening! He might die, Dad! He's not fine! I'm scared that something terrible will happen when I'm not there, and I don't know what I'll do if that happens. What if he dies?! Will he know how much I loved him?! Will I be able to go on without him?! I need him. I need Edward. I need him to be OK, and I don't know if he will."

Charlie hugged me tightly as I sobbed into his chest. He didn't say a word and just let me cry. I held on to my dad just as tightly and cried until I had no tears left.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to take it out on you," I said finally.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Charlie insisted. "It's OK for you to be angry and upset. Trust me, though. Edward does know how much you love him, and he loves you so much. He has so many people who love him and are pulling for him. Edward isn't going down without a fight."

"Thanks, Dad. For a quiet guy, you always know what to say." I hugged Charlie again.

Charlie kissed me on top of my head. "You've had a rough day. Why don't you head upstairs and get some rest. Wake me if you need me during the night. I love you, Bells."

"Love you too, Dad," I replied as I headed to my room.

I didn't think I'd be able to fall asleep because I was nervous about getting news that Edward's condition has worsened. I was so exhausted, though, that I fell asleep almost immediately and slept soundly all night.

Carlisle texted me early the next morning. "Pretty quiet night. Edward slept most of the night. Only woke up when pain meds wore off."

I texted Carlisle my thanks and finished getting ready for school. I would have preferred to be at the hospital, but I knew there wasn't much I could do there. I just went through the motions at school, not really focusing on my work. I couldn't wait until the 2:30 bell so I could head to the hospital.

Edward was awake when I got to the hospital that afternoon. He still looked weak and frail, but he smiled when he saw me. "How are you feeling today?"

"Still hurts," he whispered.

Esme filled me in on what had happened that day. "He had blood drawn this morning, and thankfully the hemoglobin levels are up. They're not where they need to be yet, but at least things are moving in the right direction." She pointed to something on the bedside table. "Dr. Denali wants him to breathe into the spirometer every hour when he's awake. He's got to take deep breaths and keep his lungs healthy."

"I'm trying. It just hurts too much," Edward said weakly.

I sat next to the bed and took Edward's hand in mine. "I know it hurts, but remember what we said yesterday. You have to do this." I couldn't let him see how scared I was. I had to be positive no matter how I felt on the inside.

Edward nodded slowly, and I could see how tired he was. He drifted in and out of sleep, so we really weren't able to talk. Esme and I stayed until visiting hours were over. As always, I hated to leave him. When I got to my truck, I cried for ten minutes before I was able to calm myself enough to drive home.

Tuesday went about the same. I had a hard time concentrating on anything at school. All I could think about was getting to the hospital to be with Edward. I knew that my friends were concerned about me, but I'd cut them off every time they tried to say something about it.

When I arrived at the hospital after school, I was pleasantly surprised to see Edward more alert and no longer on oxygen. "You look a lot better today," I said happily.

"I feel a little better," he replied. "My ribs still hurt a lot, but I'm trying to take deeper breaths."

"Good," I told him. "You're not allowed to get pneumonia." We both laughed. "Did you have any more blood drawn today?"

"This morning. My numbers are slowly going up. My hemoglobin needs to be at 12, but it's not quite there yet. Dr. Denali is putting me on iron supplements and folic acid to try and get my iron levels up. Hopefully that'll work. There's a new drug out there that's supposed to help with anemia caused by chemo, but it's got some pretty bad side effects. Dr. Denali only wants to use it as a last resort," he explained. "Since I'm halfway through my chemo and I'm already in the hospital, I'm having some tests run tomorrow. It's time for a PET scan to see if the chemo's working. I also have to have a CT scan and tests for my heart, liver, and kidneys. I'm nervous."

"Nervous? Why? The last CT showed the cancer hadn't spread."

He sighed. "It hasn't spread, but what if it hasn't gone away? What if the chemo isn't working? I'm scared, Bella."

I squeezed Edward's hand. "I know you're scared. I'm scared too," I admitted.

"Really?" he asked quietly. "But you're always so positive."

It was my turn to sigh. "I'm scared of losing you, Edward. I try so hard to be positive. I want us to grow old together, but I'm just so scared. I love you. I can't lose you." I didn't want to cry in front of Edward, but I couldn't help it.

Edward began to cry as well. "I'm not ready to die. I wanted to when I lost my parents but not anymore. I love you so much, Bella. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to leave my family. I can't die yet. I have too much to live for. I'm scared, and I don't want to die."

I leaned over to hug Edward, but I had to do it gently because of the monitors still attached to him and his broken ribs. We stayed like that for what seemed like forever, just holding each other and crying over the unknown.

I was a nervous wreck all day Wednesday. I still couldn't focus on school because I was too worried about what Edward's tests might find. I wasn't a particularly religious person, but I prayed to every deity I could think of. I needed Edward, and I needed him to beat this cancer.

When I checked my phone after school, I had a voice mail from Esme. Edward had been moved out of ICU and into a private room. She said she'd fill me in once I got there.

Edward was knocked out when I got to the hospital. "He had to have his Ativan to get through the tests," Esme explained. "He was making himself sick. He was a nervous wreck about going in the CT and PET scan machines."

"Did any of the test results come in yet?" I asked nervously.

Esme shook her head. "Not yet. We did get some good news, though. If everything goes well tonight, Edward can go home tomorrow. Dr. Denali said he'd be more comfortable and feel a lot better in his own bed. I think we'll all feel a lot better once he's home."

Thankfully everything did go well, and Edward was released from the hospital on Thursday. He was still very weak, though. When I got to the Cullen house after school, he was in bed propped up by a mountain of pillows. His normally fair complexion was paler than usual, and his bald head made him look frail. At least I was able to snuggle with him as he drifted in and out of sleep.

Friday was another day filled with nerves. Edward had an appointment with Dr. Denali that afternoon to check his iron levels and go over his test results. I wasn't the only one scared about what the tests might find. Even the normally cheerful Emmett and Alice were on edge. I wasn't sure how any of us made it through the day without losing it.

I dug my phone out of my bag as soon as I got in my truck after school. I had a text message from Edward that he had sent about half an hour before.

"I'm still waiting to see the doctor. Will call you when I get home. Love you."

I headed home and decided I could catch up on some chores while I waited for Edward to call. I was surprised at first to see Charlie's police cruiser in the driveway, but I figured he had taken off early since it was Friday.

Charlie met me at the front door. "Hey, you're home early," I told him.

"I have a surprise for you, and I had to pick it up," he shrugged.

"A surprise? What kind of surprise?"

"In the living room," Charlie chuckled as he gently turned me in that direction.

I walked into the living room and saw Edward lying back in Charlie's recliner. He smiled and sat up when he saw me. I ran to him and threw my arms around him, completely forgetting about his broken ribs until he grimaced.

"I'm so sorry!" I apologized.

Edward laughed. "It's OK. I forgive you this time."

"What are you doing here? I figured you'd be home and in bed," I said as I sat on the arm of the chair.

"Well if it were up to Esme I would be, but Carlisle and Charlie helped me convince her that it would do me good to get out for a while," he explained.

I gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. "I'm glad you were able to convince her. Now what about your doctor's appointment. How did that go?"

Edward's face lit up like a Christmas tree, and he excitedly took both of my hands. "My hemoglobin is up, but that's not the best part. It's working, Bella. The chemo's working. I'm kicking cancer's ass!"

I squealed in excitement and threw my arms around Edward again. His broken ribs were once again forgotten as he hugged me back tightly and we both cried tears of joy. Edward was no longer just fighting cancer. He was winning.


End file.
